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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Confident (07/05/07)
Alan is a riot, always the clown. Other girls flirt with him, and I don't like that very much. But, the fact he wants ME gives my ego a boost. I just smile confidently and watch their expressions wilt.

We've shared classes since grade school, but he only took notice of me our senior year. Suddenly, he was my steady. Now that I'm away at college, he writes letters. And, that's how I got my first proposal. It scared me silly. Do I really know what this guy is capable of? Is he teasing or could he be serious? I don't know what to think. Here, you read it...

"Dear Sally,

"I just got myself a big club. I'm heading up to your campus and I shall bop you on the head and drag you off by your hair. We'll get married, of course, since I know you wouldn't have me any other way. But, once I'm your husband, your life will change, big time. When I say 'jump,' you will say, 'how high?' I will expect you to be my slave, doing everything I command, including cosmetic surgery when you get old and wrinkled.

"If you even think of disappointing me or fail to live up to MY expectations, YOU can expect to be whipped into submission. Ha Ha! Oh, and you WILL be happy with me. So happy, that you will grovel at my feet because that is what I will regularly order you to do.

"So, is that a 'Yes, Alan, dear!' I hear you say? I'll be seeing you---SOON! Love, Alan"


If only...

The storm came up so fast. I couldn't even see the shore. Before I knew it, I was in the water, coming up for air only to be thrown over by another churning wave. Thank God I had a life jacket on, because I cannot swim. Everything looked so hopeless I knew I was doomed. All I could see was dark and wild water. Just trying to get one more futile breath, I lost all track of time...

Then, suddenly, someone was with me. First I saw his outstretched hand and I tried to grab it. But, I couldn't make it. I cried out to the stranger, "Can YOU help me? I can't see you. I can't swim. I...." And, then I felt two strong arms around me and I heard his voice.

"Don't worry, I've got you."

Oh, he did, too. I felt so safe, all of a sudden. At least, if I were going to drown, I wouldn't be drowning alone.

He was a member of the Coast Guard. He dangled from a cable off the side of a helicopter. And, he held me tight as we were lifted from the water. Here he was, risking his own life to go after someone lost in the midst of a storm. I could never have made it, myself. My arms wouldn't be strong enough. But, his were.

Once safe in the chopper, I sputtered, laughing and sobbing at the same time. When I finally laid eyes on my rescuer, he was smiling and looking at me with the sweetest expression in his eyes, lIke he were delighted that he had found me in time, still alive.

My heart nearly burst with gratitude. I understood better than ever what the woman at Simon's dinner must have felt, when she washed the Master's feet with her tears. If this stranger had asked me to do something for him, I would have kissed his feet and told him, "How can I not, after what you did for me?"

And then, I couldn't believe my ears. As if reading my mind, he said in a soft, gruff voice, "Would you even marry me?"


So, that's my story. I've "known" Alan most of my life, but do I really know him? Is he fiend or clown? Would he be a delightful, entertaining husband, always full of surprises, making me laugh? Or, was his threatening letter the true Alan? I think I've loved him for years, but now, I am afraid.

But, my rescuer---even though we only just met---he did so much for me that, in answer to his question, I already want to tell him: "Yes!"

He saved me and won my heart. I am not only confident he can be trusted with my life, I've seen enough to give him my future, relying on God for everything else.
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This article has been read 1396 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
07/12/07
Yikes, I sure hope this is fiction! You sure grabbed my interest! I was thinking the Coast Guard guy was a metaphor for Jesus, until he proposed...

My advice, if this is non-fiction, dump Alan, but don't rush into anything. Wow.

Would have liked a bit more context--the jump from college to the water was kind of abrupt. Very interesting story.
Dee Yoder
07/13/07
I'm confused, too! I like the way this story reads; suspenseful and entertaining, but I feel I missed a page or two somewhere. Here's my 2 cents about the proposals, Ms. Main Character: don't marry either one...:)
Sharlyn Guthrie
07/14/07
You certainly know how to keep a reader's attention. I was a little confused at the abrupt change, but it fit perfectly once I had read to the end. An interesting, engaging story. I have to agree with the others, though, only time will tell. The main character could be drowning again very soon if she rushes into anything!
Mariane Holbrook
07/15/07
Oh. my. goodness! I LOVE Alan, the rescuer. The other Alan was some guy you just thought you knew but really didn't so forget him. The real Alan could have dropped you from his hold pulling you up to safety but he held on tight. Whatta guy! SAY YES, SAY YES, SAY YES! If you don't want him, I'll take him! You can tell I got caught up in this story! Kudos for keeping my attention for so long, something that doesn't usually happen. Please write a sequel. I hafta know what happens to Alan (and to you!)
Verna Cole Mitchell 
07/15/07
No choice here--Dump the manipulative sexist creature and tell the coast guard hero you need a courtship first. See, you made me really "feel" the characters, a great thing for an author to do.
Joanne Sher 
07/17/07
Wow - intriguing! I got lost a bit in here, but the storytelling was definitely good. Keep writing!
Benjamin Graber
07/17/07
Since I am a romance lover, I really liked this story. Great job!
dub W
07/17/07
This is good stuff, belongs in the puppy pen.
Marilyn Schnepp 
07/17/07
Loved this story! But must admit I was a bit confused at who, what, where and when the Coast Guard guy came into the picture. But Hey! You're in Dub's Puppy Pen - who could ask for anything more? We'll talk the details over in the Pen. Welcome aboard, friend! You're the pure bred, and I'm the mongrel-but we'll woof it up together, Okay! Kudos!
Ed VanDeMark
07/19/07
Confidence that comes too quickly is usually not confidence at all. Take your time. Find out if Alan is a joker or a genuine jerk. The Coast Guard guy sounded great until he poped the question five minutes after hauling you out of the water...perhaps he's desperate for a reason. Third choices aren't always bad. Now that I'm done pretending to be Dear Abby, I like your writing style write us another winner.
Kristen Hester
07/19/07
I am such a romantic that I can appreciate this story. And I would also wait for option number 3. I was a little confused with the story change. How did she get into the middle of the ocean? I had some questions, but I did enjoy your writing. Nice job.