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TRUST JESUS TODAY

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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Reading (01/25/07)
I'm standing at your doorstep
With a letter in my hand
I pray you'll read it carefully
And that you'll understand

I've wronged you, and I know it
My life is yours to take
But please, I beg you - read these words
For your friend Paul's dear sake.

The letter will explain much
So read it, sir, I pray
It tells my story in Paul's words
It holds my fate, today

To run away was foolish
And I was thrown in prison
There God allowed me to meet Paul
And I made a decision

To give my life to Jesus Christ
And live as He has taught
So Paul convinced me to return
His letter I have brought

So read the letter and decide
If I will live or perish
I want so much to make things right
Your mercy I would cherish

As you read these words I pray
That you will set me free
But even as your servant
I would contented be

I see you as you read the words
Your face reflects your mood
You're thinking of your old friend Paul
You know his word is good

At first, your hands gripped tightly
Your anger was so clear
But as you read, your hands relaxed
Because Paul is so dear

He told me of the debt you've owed
To him, for many years
As your eyes scan his written words
Your eyes are full of tears

I understand just how you feel
For memories of grace
Can often bring tears to our eyes
Though joy adorns our face

As your eyes read down the scroll
I see the them show confusion
I know your heart is torn between
Revenge and absolution

So at your door I stand and wait
I've given up my will
If Jesus Christ can give His life
Upon that lonely hill

Then surely I can give mine back
To you, if so you say
For that is what is lawful
For slaves who run away

But would you please consider
The words that you have read?
Please set me free and I will serve
You with my heart and head

So here I stand; I wait your word
I'm holding my last breath
You see, the letter that you read:
It holds my life - or death

****************************

based on the book of Philemon
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
02/02/07
Perfect!
Kathie Thomas
02/03/07
I've never thought to write something like this. Very clever.
Marilyn Schnepp 
02/03/07
Creative with a capital "C"! Very neat take on the topic, and done in such a poetic way. Enjoyed this entry, and Kudos fir the writer!
Allison Egley 
02/06/07
Oh, this was so good. There were a few places where the meter could be polished just a bit, but nothing I couldn't figure out after a slight pause in my reading. I love the last stanza.
Jen Davis
02/06/07
Very, very good! You did a great job capturing the essence of this letter. One suggestion would be to consider revising so that you don’t use the word “eye” three stanzas in a row. This was both a creative and an original perspective on the topic. And the ending was a powerful way to conclude this piece. Well done!
Crista Darr
02/06/07
Great idea. I enjoy your work! I'd love to see your poetry come alive with more vivid pictures. Still, you tell a great story in rhyme. Well done!
Patty Wysong
02/07/07
You made me feel what it must have been like for Philemon. Nice!!
Linda Watson Owen
02/07/07
Oh, what a wonderful idea for this topic! And so delightfully done! I enjoyed this very much!
Shari Armstrong 
02/07/07
Wonderful!
Dennis Fletcher
02/07/07
well done, I loved it. You may want to check for clerical errors, however, one sentence has the word "the" and then it has "them". It took me a second read to realize that you rewrote them. Otherwise, great!
Julie Arduini
02/07/07
That last stanza especially was gripping, but enjoyed the entire read. Well done!
Myrna Noyes
02/07/07
Terrific! You did such a great job that I knew the speaker was Onesimus after only a couple stanzas! I think the poem flowed very well in telling this lovely story!
Pat Guy
02/08/07
Wow! What an awesome account in poem. You did a great job and I loved the creativity of this piece. Kudos to ya!
Myrna Noyes
02/08/07
CONGRATULATIONS on your "Highly Commended"! You deserve it! :)
Birdie Courtright
02/09/07
This is great, the way you told this story through a poem. I just read a commentary on Omniseus the other day, this is wonderful!
Congrats to you!