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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Soul (07/13/06)

TITLE: The Broken Seal
By Edy T Johnson
07/19/06


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“...Amen. Okay, class, today we talk about the soul. I have something to show you. What’s this?”

“Three bottles. One clear, one looks like muddy water, and one cloudy.”

“Thank you, Jody. Think of these three bottles as three souls. We’ve already talked about creation, how God breathed into the clay He had formed and man became a living soul. I’m going to twist off the cover on this muddy one, and let you smell...”

“EEEuuuuuuwww! Teacher, that stinks!”

“Ick! Please put the cover back on! Can I open the window?”

“Yes, Alison. Thanks. You didn’t like that dirty water with the smelly vegetation in it, did you. I don’t suppose you want to taste it.”

“You gotta be kidding, Miss Vale!”

“You’re right. I’d never let anyone even try it. But, what about this cloudy water?”

“Oh, that smells better, Teacher! It’s like almond flavoring my Mom puts in cookies.”

“Tim, would you dare to taste it?”

“Naw, I don’t think so. It might be like vanilla. It smells good, but it tastes awful.”

“Good choice, Tim. Did you know cyanide, which is a deadly poison, can smell like almonds?”

“Wow, Miss Vale! What about the bottle with clean water? Is it still sealed, so we can KNOW the water is clean?”

“I’m delighted, Pedro! You’re thinking ahead, and that’s good. What if you were so thirsty, you were willing to take a drink of this water. It looks clear, and it doesn’t smell good or bad, just like regular water. You might think, ‘The seal is broken, but it doesn’t look like anybody has taken a drink out of it, so I wouldn’t get somebody’s germs.’ Ah ha! I see your faces. You hadn’t thought about something you can’t see, like germs. What if I told you I just opened this bottle, that was sealed from the store...but I put in just one drop of the sewage from the muddy bottle? You wouldn’t want to take a drink, would you. You could get sick from drinking this water, even though it looks okay. Yes, Alison?”

“Miss Vale, that’s what sin is like, right?”

“Very good, Alison! I want all of you to think of an example of a soul that looks like this muddy water bottle, and this cloudy one. Yes, Jody.”

“Osama bin Laden, or Hitler, would be like the muddy water. Everybody can see how bad those souls are.”

“Right, Jody! These bottles are transparent, just as your soul and mine is. Only God can see our hearts, but people that know us can often ‘see through us,’ as the saying goes, and can tell that each of us is a sinner. Pedro’s turn.”

“Would the cloudy water be like dope pushers, Miss Vale, or people on television that make it look okay to live together without getting married?”

“Yes, Pedro. Some souls are fooled and have taken the poison of sin into their hearts. Since ‘everybody’s doing it,’ it must be okay. Right? Wrong! Some might think they’re better than this muddy soul. But, poison still kills, doesn’t it.”

“Miss Vale. Are any souls like the water we buy at the store, with the seal not broken?”

“Kara, that is an important question. Can anyone answer it?”

“I know, Miss Vale, that’s how God created Adam and Eve. They were the only ones with that kind of soul.”

“Good job, Tim! When God made Adam and Eve, He said His creation was very good. No sin, no pain, no sorrow, no death. But, we know what happened. Sin came into the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. We could say they ‘broke the seal’ and now all our souls are contaminated, even if the sin doesn’t show, like this clear water. Sometimes the sin is so dark it stinks for the whole world to smell. But, does that mean this clear soul is better than this muddy soul? Who remembers the Bible verse that tells what happens to the soul that sins? Kara?”

“’The soul that sinneth, it shall die.’ Ezekiel 18:20.”

“Good memory, Kara! Yes, Tim.”

“’For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.’ Romans 6:23.”

“Thank you, Tim. Does everybody die? Does that prove we’re all sinners? Let’s open our Bibles to the fifth chapter of Romans....”
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Jan Ackerson 07/21/06
What a great object lesson! I'll pass this on to my daughter who teaches at a Christian school. It's just a personal preference, but this piece seems awfully dialog-heavy. I'd like to see it with more descriptions of what the teacher is doing with the liquids, the classroom environment, etc. Even so, you did it skillfully enough that it was easy to keep track of the players.
Deborah Bauers07/22/06
What a creative way to talk to kids about the effect of sin. Like Jan, I would encourage you to work in some descriptive language in between the dialogue to help the flow. What did the kids faces look like when the teacher poured the sewer water droplet into the clean bottle, etc.? This would make a wonderful article for a Christian children's periodical.
Ann FitzHenry07/23/06
From someone who is a bit intimidated about writing dialogue, it's a blessing to read a story that does it so well! You held my complete attention as I learned your lesson right along with the school children. I'll bet your story gets reenacted in Sunday school classrooms and Christian schools everywhere! A definite "on-target" entry for Soul!
Steve Uppendahl 07/28/06
Nicely done, Edy. As a teacher myself, I love to see stories from the classroom. (Since I teach in an urban middle school-and have for most of my career-seeing kids have a discussion like this is nice, mostly fictional, but nice nonetheless.)

I thought your lesson idea was great. I also like the multi-cultural names. Very important.

As the others voiced, a bit of description is nice. But, you've done a great job of keeping the reader's interest strictly through dialogue. Very difficult to do, but you've done it well.

Great word, Edy!

Laurie Glass08/12/06
Great object lesson. I can see Sunday school teachers using this. I also think it would make a great skit. Creative format for the challenge, too.


   
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