The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/02/06
Right on theme. The mystery of tragedy and purpose. Sometimes all we can do is weep and surrender to Him who has a plan that is not reveiled to us.

Good write. Good job!~
06/03/06
This is a piece, as David stated, right on topic, and a question and emotions that anyone who has lost a young relative or suffered losses like Job would have.

A couple of things interrupt the flow. Within two paragraphs, the couple's names change from Pablo and Esperanza to Juan and Maria, and then the father is referred to as Pablo again. Be careful about using the same adverb twice in a paragraph (next to last paragraph, the word 'eventually'); it doesn't disrupt the flow as much as the name change, but is a small 'bump' in the piece.

Your opening paragraphs captures the intense emotions of the young surgeon and the family very well. Very good job!