The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/26/06
Well written. Good story.
05/30/06
Very well written. You're a good wordsmith and create a vivid scene. I felt that through your story you're message was that joy is felt so much more after struggle and pain. Well done! Jo
05/30/06
Try reading with the phrase: "the amazing Prophet of the Mount’s" deleted from the first paragraph, (since it is Darius' back, not the Mount's back, anyway), which would make for a smoother introduction. Otherwise, this is an interesting, well-written story. [It works to just wait til your third paragraph to introduce the title Prophet of the Mount, as you have it.]
One other word jumped out: USUALLY sat, rather than ALWAYS sat, would better fit with his working in the garden.
I'm curious if you have more to include in a longer version of the story. What sorts of things does he prophesy? In what era is he living? How did he get his job in the first place? This was enjoyable to read. Thank you!
05/30/06
This is very well written, and I enjoyed reading it. Here's something to consider: when writing fantasy/allegory, consider giving your characters "made up" names. Otherwise, your readers try to place your story on this world, in some recognizable era, and it causes dissonance.

Of course, it's possible that I've mis-read this altogether.

At any rate, you're a very talented writer. Thanks!
05/30/06
Well done, enjoyed reading this look at joy.
Very well written look at joy. Good story.