The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1168 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/26/06
Excellent. How silently Joy slips away without us ever knowing until sometimes it is too late. Blessings.
Hooked me! You did a great job building the progression, causing the reader to identify with the characters. I felt the sadness at the end, and was so glad that the husband began to show the glimmer of seeking God! Great job.
05/26/06
You really kept my attention, and I felt I could identify with the characters; good writing.
05/28/06
I really like the way you alternated his thoughts with the action of the story. This is a great piece of writing.
05/28/06
A powerful story of how joy can slip away. Fantastic!
05/28/06
Yes, your entry looks good in Advanced! I do belief you've warmed up to it nicely. Good job. Nice depiction of a too common problem!
05/29/06
What-a-great-job Tim! Just everything about it, is great! Format, dialogue, emotion - you painted a perfect, believable scenerio. Very well written.
You did a great job revealing an all too common problem. I also liked the way you interspersed his thoughts between the narative. Good job.
05/29/06
Brilliant! I love how you used his thoughts to convey the passage of time - it also conveys how quickly our lives pass us by. Great entry!
This is great stuff. We come at life (and marriage) from different directions and different expectations. At some point, we all come to this crux in the road where we choose what is valuable and relinquish the rest. I love your honest portrayal of the real problems that marriages and families are undermined by. Your message in this piece is very relevant.
Yes, Tim, I agree...this piece is so relevant! It's a common situation, but you've told it in such a powerful and uncommon way! Wonderful writing!
06/01/06
Congrats Tim! I'm not sure how I missed this piece up until now. I love it. Very powerful and, sadly, true so much of the time. Excellent work!

06/01/06
Great work, Tim! This piece is just fantastic. I pray it ministers to many before they allow their careers to destroy their families.
06/02/06
This is excellent, Tim! His thoughts build suspense, then his memories enlighten the reader. It worked very well in my opinion. Sad too, that many people live their lives in this way. I really enjoyed reading it. You did good! :o)
Such a powerful and much needed message, Tim. This needs to be shared far and wide...before it is too late for those who don't have the vision for relational intimacy above worldly stuff!! Well done and something I won't soon forget.

Wow. This was a powerful read, Tim, and a well-deserved win. You captured life's struggle in its truest form. If we could only grasp God's joy and meaning of happiness early on, before life takes over and we find ourselves - well - joyless. Congratulations and thanks for blessing us with a reminder of what true joy is all about by showing us what it's not about.
This is a great story. It easily could happen to anyone and often does. The last line How can I get it back? isn't as commonplace as the rest of the story, but it gives the reader hope. Sometimes that's what we need most of all hope.