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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Enter (02/27/06)

TITLE: Here I am, Lord
By Carol Krejci
03/04/06


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HERE I AM, LORD

Well, here I am, Lord, trying to write again. I’ve been lazy, I guess. On the other hand, I’ve been busy…so very busy. I realize that You know all about this “busyness” of praying constantly. So many of us do it. For three whole weeks now, I’ve been talking to You night and day, and crying on Your shoulder. Thank You for Your powerful arms which have been holding me close to Your heart. Tonight, I stand in awe that these same arms are cradling my first born son, just as they have been during this seemingly eternal period of spiritual and emotional rebirth he has been experiencing.

I’m so grateful that You made it possible for me to be thousands of miles away during this period of time, for I know I would have interfered with Your perfect plan for his life. I would have been running on winged feet to his side, trying to lift him from the pit into which he has fallen, offering him pablum and a baby bottle. That’s the kind of Mom that I am…an enabler, a co-dependent. But he needs oh, so much more that that which a mother such as I could provide.

Thank You, thank You, Lord, for not allowing me to be there, because his agonizing birth pains require only one parent…the perfect parent…his heavenly Father. And he is clinging in his feebleness to You, sobbing as he sits upon Your lap, and telling You all about it…everything he has been storing up within him for all of his thirty years of life. That terrible sense of loneliness and insecurity is being replaced by an acute awareness that he will never be alone or forsaken…not ever again! You are even collecting his tears and storing them in a bottle!
(Psalm 56:8…New Living Translation) “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
How awesome is that? You are listening to his ardent pleas for love and forgiveness, for “another chance”, and You are responding in ways he cannot fathom.

Night and day, he has been the object of my prayers and the cause of my tears. How it hurts to know our children are suffering so. But then…You know all about that, don’t You, Lord? This knowledge of Your divine understanding regarding our earthly sorrows is so comforting to me tonight, and I am so tired. Is this tiredness the result of my travail for my son? I know that he is in Your arms, cuddled close to Your heart, and yet I am tired.

Lord, I need to enter Your rest…may I come in?

Matthew 11:28 (NIV)…”Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.


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Member Comments
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Cheryl Harrison 03/09/06
Very touching. A parenting crying out for the soul of a child. I'm right there with you. God Bless.
Cheryl Harrison 03/09/06
Oops...and I can spell too! :o)