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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: End (02/13/06)
The end of Emily’s life was coming and she didn’t have a clue to what was heading her way. At 25, she had everything to live for; so there was no emphasis, no dwelling on death.

Emily had just started a new job as auditor of a law firm--Jacob & Jacob, Inc. She was hired practically before the Interview began. Both men—brothers-- thought that with her appearance and comprehensive background, they need not look any further.

She loved her job and her new romance with Jack Nobles was looking like marriage more and more everyday.

So, there was no worry of death—only a life filled with joy and promise.

It was March 2008 and she had just finished a hard but fulfilling day of work at Jacob & Jacob. As she pulled out of the carport and on to the main highway, she felt a sense of accomplishment and happiness. She was especially happy because she was meeting Jack for dinner at their favorite Eatery,”The Robin’s Nest.”

But, Emily wouldn’t make it to The Robin’s Nest, for someone was tracking and planning her death.

She was just five miles from The Robin’s Nest when someone behind her pulled up close and pushed hard on her bumper. The force was so sudden and unexpected that Emily almost lost control of the car.

Then, another shove from behind, this one with much more force. It only took a couple of seconds and she sailed deep into a ravine, spinning out of control--until there was nothing but darkness.

Emily died instantly and the person in the other car smiled a Cheshire cat smile and sped away; without a bruise, without a conscience.

Emily’s thoughts earlier that day were filled with hope and promise; but within seconds everything that she had hoped and prayed for, gone!

As evening approached, the person who killed Emily pulled into their garage; totally unaware that today would be their last day on earth, too.

Retribution? And, from someone they loved and trusted.....
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Member Comments
Member
Date
janet rubin
02/21/06
This sounds like the basis for a longer story. Needed some more editing. Something I learned this past year- write out numbers (i.e. "twenty-eight", not "28"). You have a good idea here- keep working on it.
Jan Ackerson
02/24/06
Yikes, you really left your readers with lots of questions here! Why was she killed? By whom? How did that person get retribution? It's okay to leave readers dangling on one question, but...perhaps that was your intent? At any rate, good writing skills, and keep it up.
Virginia Gorg
02/24/06
Leaves many unanswered questions. You said "the person" and then "their garage" - was there more than one person? Was the person her boyfriend? Hmmmmmm...