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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: NEIGHBOR (06/01/17)
“I had such high hopes for the evening,” Marissa sobbed. “And what did he do but humiliate me in front of my family. Must be the worst birthday ever.”

Sophia’s reassuring hug made Marissa feel much better. Grateful for the silent hold, she dried one last tear and scooped up the empty ice cream tubs. If only she did not have to face him in the morning. No one forgot her birthday and lived to tell the tale.

Monday morning dawned bright and clear. Marissa loved her summer birthday and was glad this year that it had been on a Sunday. Now, the ugly aftermath. Carefully dressing for work she fiddled with the clasp on her new necklace. The one from her newly married sister, Sophia. A brief smile then the memory of her ruined birthday party and she was torn once again. How do you repair dashed hopes? It felt like broken pieces of glass had ripped apart the flesh piece by piece until nothing smooth remained. With renewed determination she finished getting ready.

Closing her front door as quietly as possible she tiptoed down the hall to the elevator and pushed the button. No such luck to escape her nosy neighbor in peace. He was once again right there blocking the door to the elevator like he did every working morning since he moved in. At first she thought it was adorable and wanted to know the handsome man more. Well, after a month of dating she knew him well enough. He was the sort of man to forget birthdays and potentially anniversaries too! Why had she introduced him to her family?

Not pretending to hide her scorn, she scooted past him and left the lobby as gracefully as possible. She greeted Larry the doorman like normal and acted like nothing was wrong. Only when she boarded the bus did she allow herself to daydream about the possibilities. He would feel the pain somehow.



“You’re gonna have to do more than be charming in the elevator. You messed up big time, dude.” Bryan shook his head and stared at his shoes. For the first time in his life Keith realized that advice from his big brother had always been hard to give.

“So what do I do now? I panicked and it just came out. I love this girl.” Keith’s eyes widened as he pondered the predicament he was in. He wanted to continue the relationship but based on the cold shoulder he got, it was going to be real tough. June 26th was now ingrained in his memory so deep he couldn’t forget again.

“Intentional or not, you embarrassed her in front of her family. There’s only one chance for a big birthday like 30 and she can’t relive it again. If you don’t want her to cringe whenever she thinks of it find a way to reach out to her for a second chance.”

“How do I do that when she won’t talk to me?” Keith’s pleading eyes begged Bryan for more.

“Write a letter of apology? Stop timing your “coincidental” exit to hers for a few days? Your absence might make her heart grow fonder. Other than this disaster, you two are a good thing together. Everyone sees that. And never forget birthdays or anniversaries again.”

“Thanks man.”



Marissa left a few minutes earlier Tuesday and was surprised when she didn’t see Keith. A pleasant ride to work followed. No negative thoughts surfaced. However, when Friday morning came and she still had not bumped into him, the ache in her heart worried her. Then she remembered. She was 30 and the man she had begun to love had done nothing special.

Marissa anticipated the Sunday family dinner but not Keith’s attendance. But there he was holding out a letter. In confusion she looked to Sophia for reassurance and only saw the bright smile she was sporting and look of love for her husband. Love Marissa knew would take a miracle for her to experience.

Slowly she took the proffered letter and began to read Keith’s apology. Tears began falling as she understood the confession of love and regret for her hurt. Her heart softened like butter and when she looked up he was on his knees with a dozen red roses. Roses meant for her. And a birthday cake.

Yes, she could give this man a second chance. And maybe, just maybe, they would be more than neighbors in the future.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Deborah Porter 
06/20/17
Jennifer, I liked the creative idea you had for your story, but it was a little hard to follow. It would have been better to start with the actual birthday. Let the reader see what happened right from the start. Without that, it was a bit hard to put all the pieces together. It can be tricky to know where to start a story, but I think we needed a little bit more information about what was so humiliating.

Keep honing your skill, lovely lady, and keep rising to the Challenge.

Blessings! Deb (Challenge Coordinator)