The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1034 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
A slice of all too real life! The matter of fact, candid style works well here.
01/11/06
Mary's internal dialog was very realistically written. A very good piece of writing!
01/11/06
Man, how shamefully I relate to Mary! This was well written; it could have been a little slice of my life, for sure!
01/13/06
Ooh, even without small children, I identify way too strongly with this! Well done!

Just today, I stood sadly at the kitchen cupboard, realizing that all my Christmas treats are gone and the only thing left to snack on was fruit. I felt sorry for myself, then thought how pathetic the whole scene was!

Your piece brings to light a common problem for many women, and perhaps could even be submitted somewhere like a health magazine, or baby magazine or something, to help women realize the ridiculous trap into which we fall?

Good job. And yeah, the last line was a little abrupt, but it was a solid conclusion - it is sometimes hard to wrap up well.
So realistic and the dialogue was great. The early references to Martin being away I took to mean that he'd left her (and considering her attitude, who could blame him! LOL). The last line was unnecessary - perhaps you could have finished it with her picking up another treat before going to feed the baby or some such thing. Very well done. Blessings, Jules.
01/13/06
Isn't it strange that the things we rely on to escape are actually a bridge to true captivity?
Good realistic writing.
This story no doubt will touch a convicting nerve with many readers who also struggle with certain eating habits. I know....I'm one of them. :-)

Well done - very realistic - you hit the nail on the head.
01/18/06
Suprised this one didn't make it in, K.
It was great. I think we can all relate.
It's a good last line as well. You kinda left it hanging.
You could do a sequel? :) Maybe?