The Official Writing Challenge
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11/28/05
Wow! And wow! This was great from beginning to end. A wonderful and entertaining read!
Beautiful!
This was really interesting. You placed the reader in the village and I could see the people gathered by the weaving old woman. I loved the name Wanga Suru. Believable and creative names are so hard for me. That one is perfect! Great job for someone suffering from procrastinationitus! ;)
11/29/05
Awesome chills... and well done. With the man knowing God and Also stating thefact the we deserve "bitter, eternal death." but still can seek HIM.. Good job.
11/30/05
A well-crafted tale. I loved it from beginning to end!
11/30/05
"The Wise Vine-Weaver Woman." Just with a name a story begins to be woven, a story within a story spun. A nicely woven creation.
12/01/05
I liked this a LOT--it's told in a beautiful voice, and it reads like a legend that is part of this tribe's oral tradition. Gorgeous.

But since you asked, there's only one thing that I wasn't clear on (and it's so minor that it hardly matters)--is this supposed to be some tribe here, on this world, or in some fantasy place? If it's here, perhaps you'd give the tribes more familiar names. If not, give us something else NOT familiar (an odd animal, or a description of the inhabitants' blue skin), so that we know it's fantasy.

But like I said, that's very minor. The message is the same, whatever the setting, and it comes through loud and clear.
12/01/05
Very sweet story, clever way to share the gospel! Good job!
12/02/05
Your setting and names are fabulous. I don't know how you come up with them, but it's not the first time I've thought that, so it must be part of your gift! I hate to be unhelpful, but I have no advice for you, I thought it was very clever. :) Karen
12/02/05
Loved it! Great POV character. Great sense of place. Very well done. Yeggy
Ditto to all the above. A wonderful tale told in a very real and nature way. Well done.
12/02/05
A very creative parable style story (a touch of the woman at the well?) An enjoyable read :)
12/03/05
Nicely done! I loved the exotic names; made it seem like a place that most likely had never heard about Jesus.
12/03/05
Good story. A few minor grammar slips with sentence length here and there, and being a fan of missionary stories, I find it hard to believe that the man does not a) have a translator and b)was able to tell them the entire gospel story in one sitting without gaining their trust first.
12/06/05
Wow - what a lot you've fitted into 750 words! The setting - the story - the gospel - well done!