The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/13
Thank you for this moving and inspiring entry.

It touched my heart.

God bless~
08/22/13
This was a little to close for comfort as it has only been two years since my dad passed.

It touched my heart deeply. It felt authentic and the emotion was genuine.

Thanks for sharing a heart felt story with us.
08/23/13
A tender recreation of a moving moment--thank you for sharing it with us.

You switched tenses several times--from past to present and back again. This would work very well in present tense, to give the reader a sense of immediacy.

Loved grandmother's last words--very sweet and touching.