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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Click (04/18/13)

TITLE: Hoping for a Click instead of a Bang?
By Linda Berg
04/24/13


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“You’re next.”

Sara pulled her shoulders up and together and hung her head, shaking it from side to side ever so slightly.

“C’mon, you said you were game.”

“I don’t know, “ Sara said with eyes wide, fear etching every part of her face.

Mutters were heard around the circle. Someone swore.

Melanie pushed the revolver into Sara’s hand. “It’s your turn!”

The gun lay in Sara’s hand loosely. She gazed at it. Finally, in one quick motion, she spun the cylinder, put the muzzle to her right temple pulling the trigger.

Click.

Sara dropped the gun, cupping both hands over her eyes as tears fell across her cheeks.

Richard, sitting to Sara’s left, slowly reached for the gun picking it up with his left hand. Looking over his dark rimmed glasses, he slowly scanned every face seated there. Slowly, deliberately he gave the cylinder a spin. When it stopped he raised his hand pointed the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

Click.

Sighs confirming relief, came from the circle of teens playing Russian roulette.


Kayla lay in bed unable to sleep. Her mind was working on a way to get her way. She had to go to that party Friday night after the football game. All her friends were going to be there and Ned, the star quarterback, had asked her if she was going. Why did dad and mom have to be so difficult? As she lay there crafting the tale she would present to dad and mom, she knew that this was going to take more than the usual spin. Undaunted, she knew how to play them. She knew how to use just the right words and a little bit of body language to get her way. She settled into comfort as her plan and story came together. That party was hers. She was going. No doubt.

Click.

Ethan had done it before without any difficulty. Besides, he’d only had a few beers. He knew all the stories about drunk drivers but he was so used to drinking he didn’t really get drunk anymore.

The other guys he’d met at the bar were still going strong, and he hated to ask them for a ride because he needed to go home early. He needed to tally the final projections for the advertising proposal he was presenting to a most prestigious company the next morning.

Reaching in his pocket to get his keys he gave a slight wave to his buddies still at the counter saying, “See ya later, guys.”

Out in the parking lot, he pushed the unlock button and the car flashed with lights. Arriving at the driver’s door and climbing inside, he realized he was really sleepy.

As he approached the last curve of his twenty-minute drive home on the old Tennessee mountain road, he saw a flash of light. In the moment, he was uncertain if he was dreaming or awake. His mind was foggy with thoughts, “Where am I? Is that a car? Do I need to move over?”

Click.

****************************************

It was only a friendship. A very satisfying friendship, but still, only a work related friendship. He seemed to be able to talk with Janine much easier than he could talk with his wife. That troubled him but it was no big deal.

Just today at work they realized they had one more thing in common. They were both “only” children sparking a whole new common conversation among them.

As he was checking his work email tonight, he saw he had an email from Janine. She had never written his work email before. It had never been necessary as all of their work could be accomplished in the office.

Something about this email coming from Janine felt uncomfortable. He sensed that the content would not be so innocent. Just that afternoon, she had rested her hand on his shoulder for a brief moment while they looked at the computer screen. What harm could it do to check her email?

Click.

****************************************

Russian roulette. Passing a chamber gun from person to person with only one loaded chamber. Spinning the cylinder, pointing the gun at one’s head and pulling the trigger hoping for an empty chamber…. not the one with a bullet in it.

Is it possible we play Russian roulette with our spiritual lives? Leaving eternal life to chance?

“Be very careful then, how you live – not as unwise but wise…for the days are evil.”


NIV Ephesians 5:15


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This article has been read 131 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Virgil Youngblood 04/26/13
The title and roulette intrigue kept my attention. The change to other stories, while interesting, seemed to take away from a powerful start. A fitting ending to the original "hook" would make this a more powerful story, in my opinion.
Patsy Hallum04/29/13
I was really hooked at first, but you lost me by going to other story.Both were good, but just, in my opinion, didn't go together.
Keep Writing!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/01/13
This is a fascinating story. I think you did a nice job of building the suspense. I was a bit confused about how Kayla in bed fit in, I thought she was going to sneak out to the party where they were playing with the gun and end up dying. It might just be my tired brain. I think you did a nice job with the other stories of showing the risks we take. Your final line makes the reader stop and think which is always good.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/02/13
Congratulations on placing 37 overall!