The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/11/13
I really like your usage of the topic of splash. This devotional style piece, with some grammatical corrections and maybe changing a few wording choices, would be great for some of the venues where I've published devotionals. You did a good job of laying out examples that shed a little different perspective on the scripture used, which gets folks thinking. Of course your piece carries the needed challenge to more Christ-likeness that I think every good devotional has. In the hope of being helpful, may I point out two examples of grammatical errors? "David harbor" should be in the past-tense as "Harbored" and in the same paragraph: "...Supervisors not necessary..." could be changed to ""Supervisors not necessarily..." Over-all good job. You have a real talent for bringing out spiritual truth for edifying others. Your heart for serving Jesus is revealed here.
04/13/13
Your love for the Lord is apparent, and the message abundantly clear. Good job.

God Bless~
This is an interesting devotion. I like how you set it up with the Bible verse and used the analogy of boss worker which many can relate to.

I did spot some little typos like a missing with and harbor instead of harbored. I was wondering if it would be a stretch on the topic, but you did sneak it in at the end and in the verse.

The prayer is beautiful and my favorite part. I think it is such a good idea to include a prayer in the devotion. You did a nice job.
04/15/13
I think this has the makings of a great devotional/message. It does need some editing. I would also have liked to see a little more on what we should do - submission, yes - but what does it mean to submit? Just do nothing in the face of a boss who bullies and intimidates? People may need some strategies/encouragement - even just a quick reference to 2 or 3 - to help them cope in such a difficult situation. I only mention this because I think this message is worthy of editing. I would actually like to send it to a friend who is in a difficult work situation!
This is the only way to serve in the workplace. Excellent piece.