The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Awww,I loved this story. It touched my heart, so well written and moving.

God bless~
What a lovely vignette. I was immediately - there - Cheers!
I really enjoyed the story. It is unlike any other that I have read so far this week, yet, it is still right on target for being on topic.

I did notice some little typos, mainly they had to do with quotation marks and punctuation. Make sure the ? goes inside the quotations and that there is either a comma or period or some form of punctuation at the end of the quote. A good proofreader would help you catch these little things.

Overall I think your message was brilliant. I found myself totally engaged in this story and delighted in the characters. You also did a great job of delivering your message without coming off as preachy.
Biblical teachings within a nicely written story.