Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Repeat (01/24/13)
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TITLE: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus | Previous Challenge Entry
By lynn gipson
01/27/13 -
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A lifetime of sin has taken its toll
A night's cry for help uttered out loud
Begging for mercy, no longer proud
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, prayers come forth
From a heart aching with all its worth
A soul on fire with yesterday's hell
What scurlious lies evil does tell
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, words form on my lips
Warming my soul and cold finger tips
Calming the terror of this night's scream
Reminding the pain it was only a dream
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, feeling you now
Sensing the hope and love you allow
For ones who come to you for strength
Surrending tears and fears at length
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, what a beautiful sound
Echoing my mind to turn it around
To peace you promised on your dying day
If only I follow as you lead the way
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, such strong presence
Your light, your soul, your very essence
Terrors depart, they flee at your sight
Your shining armor defends me tonight
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, I wake with your name
Dreams of the heaven from which you came
Peace filters through the window this morn
A heart healing miracle; a soul is reborn
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Nicely done.
God bless~
Thank you for this reminder.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
There's just something about that name!
What scurlious lies evil does tell." The positive ending will be a real encouragement to those in the midst of struggle and pain. Great job! :)
This is a giant step up from the last one I read from you--you just keep getting better, Praise God! A couple of the rhymes sounded just a bit forced. In poetry you can leave out some connector words and produce sort of a cadence or rhythm by re-wording and counting syllables in each line, using hard consonant words at the right intervals. Just thought that might help you get even better.
I loved the emotion in this, I could really feel it, and that's the essence of poetry. Great piece!