The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/13/12
You made some good points in this piece. I was confused, though, by why a portion of what you wrote is actually the words of someone else on another website. Perhaps there could be a different way to illustrate your point. The prayer at the end was excellent.
I like the idea of that verse in Hebrews meaning more than just getting together for church services. The first sentence in the 4th paragraph (after the quote) is a bit run-on. Probably would have been stronger if stated in two sentences.
09/15/12
Beautiful job with bringing forward an important and vital message. Loved your prayer and how it concluded with all points that you mentioned earlier. Nicely done.

God bless~