The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/19/12
Wow...that was tough to read. I'm saddened by the words and even more so to realize this still goes on today. A sobering story that hurt my heart. How I pray for all abused individuals to be set free through Jesus Christ..and phsically escape their tormenters. So sad.

God bless~
07/19/12
Intense, riveting, well-written. I'm still catching my breath... incredible read. Such an agonizing truth that this is still happening to women today.
07/21/12
This is really hard hitting! Well written and moving. How sad that this situation can really exist in 2012.
07/23/12
Wow. This is very powerful. Very well crafted, believable dialogue, flowed well with an unsuspected ending.

One tiny thing . . . make sure you put a space before, after and in between periods in an ellipse. It seems to be my mission to teach this on Faith Writers!

I'm not so sure my story is "head and shoulders" above yours. ;)

Great job.
07/23/12
It can be hard, especially in a forum where we desire to create uplifting stories of the Lord's boundless love, to write a truth such as you have and to do it well. You have succeeded amazingly!

This was truly riveting. As one who does a bit of pre-marital counseling, I found myself wanting to get a video like this one to show couples (although I've never faced a prospective groom like Paul ... or a prospective bride like Kelsey). The truth in this piece is so powerful and the need for it to be communicated cannot be understated.

Awesome work!
07/24/12
Your title wrsapped it up. Then you unwrapped it in such a powerful way. Regrettably accurate portrayal through your dialogue. I wonder of the pastor realised that he had the same guy face to face as he had in the video tape. Well done.
07/24/12
So sad, and too typical. My daughter got out of a terrible situation with mostly the verbal abuse, which was escalating to the physical stage. She did indeed stay for awhile because she was pregnant. You did a great job with a common tragedy.
07/24/12
Wow, When I read the first few paragraph’s I didn’t know I was watching a video. What amazing way to do a story about violence against women.
07/25/12
Wow! That was an intense read. The sad part is that this happens all too often. This hit close to home and was hard for me to read, although it was very well written. Thank God, I got out of a bad situation, though. Thanks for sharing. God bless!
07/26/12
Wow, this was really intense. Not sure that 750 words can really capture all you wanted to say. Very realistic portrayal. Great job of putting the reader into the scene. Excellent ending, too - I wasn't sure how you would wrap it up. A little weak on topic, but strong entry otherwise. Nice work, my friend. :)
07/26/12
Congratulations on your tie for 8th place in Level 3. This is a thought provoking entry, and great writing.
07/26/12
Congratulations Shannon your 8th placing too.
Hi -

Thank you for this gripping story. It is very well done.
Yes, indeed, it engages!

I believe the last sentence could be stronger.