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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Fame (05/10/12)

TITLE: true greatness
By Colin Swann
05/15/12


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stardom gained in the dullness of a starless night
is elusive but to the few - yet still it hastens away
for the capture of a name and fame
is a lost hope - that takes its flight from most
it avoids the eager grasping hand - ungainly hand
for few can truly hold it dear and true
that sparkling shining elusive star
that bright star of the night

it is known to suddenly draw near within the grasp
and promises to stay close to the humble heart
it captures to please and tease the foolish soulless mind
to find unknown peaks from which to fall
and casts the hapless helplessly o'er the edge
few know its truth is a dark deceit
a secret to the wise - alone - discerned
for pride must change and lowly lessons learn

the claimant's stance to own life's peaks
to trade the transient for the sturdy-showy side
yet after lingering long - it must flee those craggy heights
its pride cannot dwell among the Maker's lofty frame
the brittle base will crack and crumble at His name
but try it will - from its lowness to rise above other stars
to sit in the seats of kings and lords
not knowing His word will bring things low

true fame is to kneel before the Lamb
and lift Him high who left His home
to abdicate His glorious throne
He came to a people their hell to stall
for a straying flock He cried His call
to come and find Him their All in All
yes - true greatness is to heed heaven's sway
and humbly walk His Calvary way


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This article has been read 375 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/17/12
This is beautiful. Often I don't always get poems but I appreciated the double meaning of the star. It's sad but still lovely.
CD Swanson 05/17/12
Poignant and so lovely. I love poems, and especially those that glorify the Lord. Simply beautiful.

Thank you. God Bless~
Genia Gilbert05/19/12
Indeed you put true greatness in perspective. This is lovely. Thanks for sharing it.
Marina Rojas05/19/12
Good portrayal of fame that fizzles and the everlasting glory of God.

I enjoyed this work.
Allison Egley 05/21/12
Oh, I love this, especially the last stanza, and how you switched to rhymed meter. Nice way to bring attention to that last stanza!
Graham Insley 05/21/12
This was great and I felt you captured something here that is full of wisdom; I love the last two lines.

Can't comment on the technical because I don't know. I always stumble with free verse, so I think it has more to do with me, but I found the flow jerky.

Your choice of words was excellent and you really got the point across about humility and fame being sole mates for fame to work at all.

Thank you.
Leola Ogle 05/22/12
Lovely with a great message. Well written. Good job! God bless!
Hiram Claudio05/23/12
This was awesome! I absolutely loved the last part - so much power and truth and so eloquently crafted. This was simply wonderful and blessed me greatly.
Edmond Ng 05/24/12
A nicely written poem to show what is true fame—to kneel before the Lamb and life Him high. Powerful piece! God bless.
Noel Mitaxa 05/24/12
Well written, with a well-deserved second placing.
Great perspective in your message.
CD Swanson 05/24/12
Congratulations! Nicely done. God Bless~
Janice Quimby 05/25/12
You did a good job of describing what true greatness really is. I'm not a poem person so it is hard for me to comment but it did have a good message.