Awaiting Death | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Awaiting Death | Previous Challenge Entry
By Clyde Blakely
03/08/12
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“Well, you ARE older this morning than when you went to bed.”

Not the response I was hoping for when I mentioned to my wife a few of my aches and pains on getting out of bed. I didn’t realize getting older happened so fast.

When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to get older: nobody to order me around any more, free to be myself, eat what I want, and go when and wherever I pleased. I’d be my own boss.

Then I got my first job. Well, I needed the money to do all those things I wanted to do so I compromised a little to maintain my mythical freedom. I didn’t think it was a big deal, only a little inconvenience.

Then I got married.

Then I had kids.

Getting older was not what I expected it to be.

And I wasn’t sure what older was suppose to feel like either. Were there special sensations which pulsated through the body? Or was it the lack of sensations pulsating through the body? Now that I’ve arrived I’m still not sure which it is. I seem to be in a quandary. Sometimes I wish it was the lack of few of those sensations and a few more of the ones I had when younger.

I’ve found there is no land of complete liberty in aging which I had dreamed of ‘back then’. I have discovered, however, there is some freedom by not burdening my gray matter with such things as remembering all those items my spouse asked me to pick up at the store, or that I laughed at the same joke I heard twice in one week (well, it did sound like a new one to me), but those pesky doctor appointments I keep missing do bother me a little (that is when I remember why I was suppose to go).

Loss of freedoms both physical and mental puts one between a rock and a hard place but in growing older I have discovered that when I find myself there to “go to the Rock”. This is the real blessing to know what happens after I get as old as I’ll ever will. God has always had my best interest in mind. He has been preparing me for eternity. Each lesson I learn here is somehow making me readier to live with Him forever there. I may not understand everything about getting older, the whys and wherefores, but I do know that in God’s perspective, and now mine, death is what I’ve lived for all my life. Getting older just happens to be one pathway.

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