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(These are true accounts –
names have been changed as appropriate)
Dorothy and the pyrex cups
Just after our marriage Sally and I decided that we would regularly invite our peer group church friends back to our new home after the evening service for supper. At the début evening we were sitting pleasantly chatting when Sally started serving refreshments. On seeing the crockery to be used I noticed a set of pyrex cups that I'd previously refused to drink from, as I hate pyrex cups. I said, “What have you got those awful things out for?”
Sally gave me a look that would have stopped a charging rhino in its tracks. The penny dropped! I remembered Dorothy had bought them for us as a wedding present and considerate Sally had wanted to let Dorothy know she appreciated them. Poor Dorothy sat there looking so uncomfortable. As for me I wished the floor had opened up and swallowed me!
Dorothy's aunties
Back then, our first home that we purchased had previously been rented by one of Dorothy's aunts. It was bought whilst Sally was away doing her final year training to become a maths teacher. Mam and Dad helped clean and scrub the house ready for when Sally was home and free to get married.
Mam, on her way to the shops, was chatting to another of Dorothy's aunts who mentioned she'd heard that we were moving into Rosebery Street and Mam, not being aware of the connection of the two aunts, said, “Yes, the place was scruffy.” Of course it was reported back.
This came out when at one of our Sunday evening get-togethers Dorothy had brought along her cousin Wendy (the daughter of the aunt Mam had spoken to). Wendy was more forthright than Dorothy and almost immediately said, “We shall have to report back if we find a speck of dust here, Dorothy.” Blimey!
Dorothy – it's all in the family
Another of Dorothy's cousins, Mary, was married to Tony who had been an old neighbour of ours when I was growing up. Sheila, Tony's sister, was a few years older that me and was always clouting me – until one day she came for me with a sweeping brush which I wrestled from her and walloped her with and that was the end of the bullying!
Dorothy's cousin Mary unfortunately died and Dorothy who had never been married later wed Tony. When it was Tony's 70th birthday, because we were now interlinked through Dorothy being our friend we were invited to his celebration. This was a most unexpected reunion for me with my old neighbours.
I made a special effort to speak to Tony's mother. “Hello, Mrs. Birks.” Before I could say anything further the reply came, “Have less of the Mrs. Birks, I'm Sheila.” Time had stood still and she was the image of her mother from my childhood remembrance. I should have known better.
I got to know that their mum Mrs. Birks was now almost a hundred and was physically unable to attend but she had asked to be remembered to that Johnny Jarvis.
Sheila seemed to enjoy reminding me how she had clipped me round the ears back then. After my faux pas I thought better than to remind her of the brush incident.
Bloomers without Dorothy
As a market manager I was responsible for approaching traders to ask them to remove from their stalls goods that were not on their contract to sell. A line of goods that was popular for making their unofficial appearance was underwear. This transgression was vehemently reported to me by official sellers of lingerie and I had to act.
It was difficult to approach a trader, if a female, and tell her she had to take her underwear off!
As you can see I am an expert at creating embarrassing situations. Yes, I'm the biggest bloomer boomer of them all!
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