The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1021 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
You have a delightful sense of humor and I chuckled throughout. I did notice several little errors that a challenge buddy or critique group would pick up on.

It was definitely on topic and quite creative. I delight in your whimsy.

A few sentences could be reworded to help the story flow smoother. For example: Bowing before a synthetic throne, afraid a smile might erupt by glancing at the brick replacing a missing imitation gold leg.
might flow better like this: The minion stifled a smile when his eyes detected a brick that had replaced a gold leg on the boss' throne.
I also noted an incomplete sentence or two.

The message was divine (tongue in cheek :) How true it is that these modern day gadgets take up our time and ultimately leave us with less time with God.
11/06/11
Hehehe this is very cute and creative.

It seemed that thee was a bit of a discrepancy.... Your first MC noticed the brick instead of a leg, and yet later both say they didn't look at his throne.

Nice job.... Though I do think blogs CAN be used for God's purposes as well. Not that I think you were saying that blogs were only bad. Just thought I'd point that out. You did a great job of pointing out their potential dangers.
11/07/11
You've had some fun with this, so thanks for sharing it.
11/09/11
This was cute and a fun read. It held my interest throughout. Nicely done. God bless~
11/09/11
Clever and fun take on the topic. You did quite well! Enjoyed this. God bless!
11/10/11
What a delightful play on words. I loved the shamelessly arrogant AOG and his rascally minions.

So many fun phrases to enjoy.

I just have one question.

Um, "five inch floppy" ???!!!


El. Oh. El.
11/14/11
An interesting read, and a unique approach on the topic! Good job on creativity and story idea.