The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/21/11
I enjoyed this, smiled the entire time. I assume it was nonfiction. I loved the battle between dictionary and Google, and between husband and wife. Fun and entertaining.
Delightful and believable story. Well-written and flowed smoothly from beginning to end.
10/22/11
What a fun and lighthearted story you have woven around the topic! Well written and I enjoyed the read!
Practicing critique ļ Just my opinion as a reader:
Very strong beginning that caught my attention and kept me reading. Spot on topic, and creative treatment. I think these three categories are your strongest. Plus, the humor is excellent. I thought some of the dialog could flow a little more naturally¡Ktoo much explanation seems to crossover into telling instead of showing. The transition to a spiritual application seems forced. I think if you omitted ¡§made me stop and think how wonderful God is,¡¨ and started with ¡§my husband is a computer geek,¡¨ your application would be much stronger. 2nd to last sentence is a great finish, but the very last sentence seems tacked on. Could probably be worked in better to bring it home.
Overall, very strong and enjoyable read.
sorry for the weird symbols...I wrote this is word and then did a cut and paste into the comment box...that didn't work out very well! :-)
10/24/11
Excellent. I loved it.
10/27/11
An enjoyable read! Obviously, the difference between a print edition and an online dictionary is the dependency on power, even when using wireless or a smartphone. Modern conveniences seldom are as reliable as the good old print, and you have put across that point in your story very well. I guess the best way forward is to strike a balance and love them both. Good job on a well written piece.
Creatively excellent take on the topic. I too, chuckled throughout this entertaining story and especially enjoyed the unexpected "look it up" to your daughter after all that work! The ending was adorable and well-deserved. :)
11/01/11
Cute story which I thoroughly enjoyed - took me back to my work days when I raced to get information from my old fashioned filing cabinets and often beat the computer staff I was surrounded by.
11/01/11
Really enjoyed this. Found it to be really funny, love the competitiveness between the spouses!
11/02/11
Delightful story! Great perspective on how our lives are dependent on computers (as long as the power is working lol). Godbless!
11/03/11
Fun story! I love the ending where the tables are turned.
11/03/11
You brought a smile with this husband and wife duo. I could see this play out. (I hope this is a true story.) :)
This is based on a true story. My husband and I had the bet but we never played it out. But if we had this story is likely what would have happened. I'd have won the bet for sure! :) And my daughter would have gone to Daddy if I told her to look it up and he would have given her the answer. Sometimes real life is the best humor.
You should add some verses and send this to Jewels of Encouragement in a few months. Good job!