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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Fruit (10/10/05)

TITLE: Mind Fields
By Amy Michelle Wiley
10/16/05


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The hard ground pressed against Drew’s ribs and his lungs protested the lingering haze of gunpowder. He struggled to keep from coughing, fearful of attracting the enemy. Dry grass pricked his chin as he scanned the field stretched out before him. Then he spotted the dark form--it was Bobby, dying right there on the other side of the field. Drew ached to run to him, to scoop his friend up and rush him to safety. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t run, he couldn’t do anything but inch slowly across the mine-laden ground, straining to spot any evidence of dangerous secrets in the soil.

Time moved slowly, racing against the blood that ran from Bobby’s side. Drew heard him moan and his concentration wavered. He saw the wire just as his boot brushed against it. He flung himself away, over the top of a boulder, covering his head as the ground shook with the explosion. The air began to clear and Drew raised his head. Thank God. He was alive.

The sharp pain from the small shrapnel pieces imbedded in his back threatened to distract him once again. God help me, please! The growing night was also making it difficult, but Drew pressed on. Nothing would stop him from getting to Bobby.

Then he was there, bending over his friend, touching him gently on the forehead. Bobby opened his eyes. “Drew? You came.”

“I told you I would. Just like you’d come for me.”

Drew was just bending to lift Bobby when he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. It was enemy forces, coming out of the trees straight toward them! It was too late to hide--they had already been spotted.

Reacting automatically, Drew thrust his hand into his pocket, pulling the pin as he threw the grenade. Again! Again! With deadly accuracy the three grenades exploded far out, stopping the advancing army in a confusion of smoke and fire. “Come on!” Grabbing Bobby under the arms, Drew retraced his path, following the safe trail of flattened grass.

With shocking suddenness, Bobby yowled in delirium and wrenched out of Drew’s grasp. “No!” Drew screamed, pitching forward with Bobby’s weight. “The land mines!” He hit the ground hard, but only silence rang in his ears. No explosion. Drew sighed with relief. He hadn’t gone all that way to drop Bobby and die in a mine. Drew scrambled for his friend. They had to hurry and get out of there!

“Andrew!” The shrill voice of his mother startled Drew out of his reverie in the orchard. “Andrew, how many times have I told you to change out of your church clothes before you go out to play?”

Drew sat up slowly, studying his white shirt, streaked with grass stains and smeared with globs of rotten apple. He had gotten into more apple land mines than he had thought!

His mother continued scolding from the upstairs window, “And stop throwing apples at the neighbor’s cows!”

The cows! Drew twisted around to locate the enemy forces. But they were still halfway across the neighbor’s field, swishing their tales nervously. Drew grinned. He’d shown those cows.

Walking carefully to avoid the slippery mines, Drew picked his way out of the orchard. He glanced over his shoulder at the cat, who glared from a near-by apple branch. “Don’t worry, Bobby. I’ll be back.”


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This article has been read 1611 times
Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight10/17/05
Love it! Very fun!
Sally Hanan10/17/05
Loved it. I bet the cat is still up there :)
Pat Guy 10/17/05
This is great! Hooked me in and kept me going! This sounds like my grandson! Loved it too!
janet rubin10/18/05
Bravo!
Suzanne R10/18/05
Cute! I love the title too ... had I paid more attention to it, I wouldn't have been wondering, "What's this got to do with fruit?" You had me well and truly! Very entertaining.
Kyle Chezum10/18/05
Excellent! One of my favorites ever. Good job!
Lynda Lee Schab 10/20/05
HA! This was great! Gotta love those twists! Keep em coming!
Well done.
Blessings, Lynda
Anita Neuman10/20/05
Ha ha ha! Funny twist! You make me laugh.
Linda Watson Owen10/20/05
Perfect title for a great story! What a creative delight!
Debbie Sickler10/20/05
Wow! I loved the twist to this. Your first paragraph was a great hook and you kept the excitement up through to the revelation at the end. I loved the image of 'enemy' cows being pelted with fruit! Very good rang of emotions, great job!
Karen Ward10/21/05
Great job, great twist, well written!:) Karen
Brandi Roberts10/21/05
This was AWESOME Amy! Wow, what fun! Very imaginative!
J. C. Lamont10/21/05
Very very good. Wow, I must have really misunderstood your hint...i thought i had already read yours. Great imagination...love the enemy cows.
Jesus Puppy 10/21/05
Excellent imagery, both in and out of the dream.. Great job. One question though... what is it with dreams this week... LOL.
Garnet Miller 10/21/05
(Squeal) I loved it! I thought they were in the middle of a war somewhere, but you fooled me. The imagination of a child is so vivid. I remember watching a cartoon episode when I was a child about a boy named Harold who daydreamed all day in class and had the most fantastic adventures! Thanks for writing this terrific article:)
terri tiffany10/22/05
HA! HA! This was so funny and creative! the story carried the reader along right to the cute ending!!Excellent!
Denise Stanford10/22/05
I wondered if it was a computer game and was so delighted to find otherwise. Good choices here, well written!
Joanne Malley10/23/05
Sheesh...you got me! What a clever twist! I thought you were talking about my son. Sounds like his typical type of play! Cute story; good job! Jo
Deborah Porter 10/24/05
Amy, as always, very, very clever. I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you ranked 7th in the Level 3 list, and 15th overall (out of 135 entries). So well done! Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Shari Armstrong 01/03/06
I'm so glad you pointed it out to me!!! LOVED it - I've dodged a few of those mines in my day lol