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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: This Side of Paradise (not about the book) (07/14/11)
I still remember
when Mummy and Daddy
slept together
when we ate together
and sometimes played together
it was paradise.

Then Daddy got angry
Mummy started shouting
Mummy shouted a lot
grown-up words, lots of them
I was sleeping when the crash woke me up
Daddy left, Mummy cried and cried
she had a big bruise on her face
I was sad for Mummy.

Now I only see Daddy sometimes
and Mummy does not smile any more
she does not want to play with me
and she’s always angry
I am sad
some of my friends only have a mummy;
they are sad.

Yesterday
we were in the shopping mall
I was looking at the cute puppies
in the pet shop window
when I heard Daddy call my name.

I was excited, I turned round
and there was Daddy standing there
alone, with very sad eyes
he just looked at me.

I called him, he didn't move
when Mummy saw him
she got angry
she didn't speak
she just grabbed me
and dragged me away
it hurt my arm
and it hurt my heart.

I want my Daddy and my Mummy
to play with me again
I hurt
I hate this side of paradise
and I want a puppy.

--------
Inspired by witnessing a sad, sad moment in front of the pet shop at our local shopping mall.
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This article has been read 1019 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Leola Ogle
07/21/11
What a sad tale, but so painfully true. Children are the losers in divorce, even adult children. I speak from experience! Thanks for sharing. God bless!
Bob Johnson
07/22/11
Very good. I think you did an excellent job of conveying the thoughts of this child and many others who might not be able to articulate their feelings as well. Keep writing!
Helen Clancy
07/24/11
This is beautifully written, in the voice of a young child, and I found it very moving. It is typical of a child to jump as you have done, from wanting Mummy and Daddy to be together and happy, to wanting a puppy.
Lovely!
Amica Joy
07/24/11
You are looking at the world with Spiritual eyes. This is a powerful story. The gift of love and understanding is a spiritual gift - and is a form of prophetic counselling... i I may use these powerful tools. We don't need looking glasses and "tell- me-the-future" sessions in church. We don't need "what is God saying to me now?"- hype. We just need prayerful and watchful eyes and truly Spiritual responses. Thank you for your story. Escaping sin's vicious circle it the only way out. What a tragedy that even we Christians (me too!) often forget that the "Exit" is always only through Jesus. Christ is the only one who can keep a family together in a wholesome, truthful and healthy way.
Linda Goergen
07/25/11
This is powerful in showing how children are torn by divorce, torn between parents, their lifestyle torn apart. Unique take on the topic showing pre-divorce life being paradise to the child and post-divorce being “this side of paradise” the child hated, longing to have back the paradise that was lost. This is very well done!
Jim McWhinnie 
07/25/11
Certainly filled with pathos.

Intriguing take on what we might consider to be "paradise".
Edy T Johnson
07/26/11
An interesting take on the topic, you made me go back for a second look! You reminded me of something I've pondered over the years: as Christians we have already passed from death to life (seated with Christ in heavenly places); then why would we want to be "resuscitated" - in effect calling us from life back into death? Like this child, having experienced his idea of Paradise, he has lost it, and certainly doesn't like "THIS side of Paradise."
Noel Mitaxa 
07/27/11
Your last line wrapped it up so wistfully. A beautiful, touching approach.
Laury Hubrich 
07/27/11
You did an awesome job capturing this child's voice! But wow! So very sad.
Kim Hamlin
07/28/11
So sad, and such a horrible reminder of the children that are hurt daily by divorce. Extremely well-written and realistic voice for the child. Great job!
sethabela l JACOB
07/28/11
nyc.long.and straight to the point.u r wat de lord made you to be