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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Dropout (05/12/11)
I’m typically not one to quit in the middle of things but the human race is hard like being thrown into a think-tank and flushed to the bottom of the bowl where you do a few quick go-rounds then whoosh through the pipes into some underworld probably yours where nothing makes any sense because I don’t know why but if I did you’d be the first to know since well I like you and I would hate to see you go through all the things I have like these pipes and even if it’s a bit late for that I’m sure there’s still some pain I could spare you by plunging the bowl or going in after you even though I’ve already been there done that bought the t-shirt that’s now naturally quite filthy and says Not of this World not audibly of course but in shirt-talk but I digress so where was I oh yes in the human race which some call a rat race and others say is for the birds but I say is for hamsters due to the facility with which they navigate tubes like these without hitting their heads like that are you okay hello hello they really should put some kind of padding in here so people or rats or whatever can get around without taking a turn for the worse hello are you still there if anything has happened to you Sue I’m going to make someone pay if it’s the last thing I do as that’s the least I can do given that I somehow feel responsible for our relationship’s being down the tubes and having involved you in all this business which was really mine that you stuck your nose into by accident or did you have one too as they do happen in which case you might want to fill out an accident report and as I am your witness I can vouch for your character that she rarely if ever butts into other people or birds or whatever’s affairs and you would do well to take after her because so far you’ve given me no end of grief hello and the silent treatment will get you nowhere fast which is where we’re headed if you haven’t already noticed are you still there but what do you know here we are back at the beginning because I’m typically not one to quit in the mid
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This article has been read 830 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Fiona Stevenson
05/20/11
Crazy man crazy or something or other I really don't know but God bless you anyway
Janice Fitzpatrick
05/20/11
Did the narrator pass out?:) With no breaths in between sentences, ha! This was good, very creative. I like it!
Linda Goergen
05/21/11
I feel like I have just read a Dean Young poem! LOL LOL

His work seems like a dropout from reality to me...
more about the emotion emitted than the surreal words.

So in that context I guess this fits the challenge! LOL
Joe Moreland
05/21/11
Not just any word, Garry, but in the middle of the word "middle"! Ha! This is great! I loved it! So out of the box that you can't even see the box from here! Fantastic job, and I bet it was a lot harder to do than it looks. I love the way you consistently change subjects by latching onto a single word that derailed the train of thought.

Now, you want to see something really funny? This comment accidentally got placed on the next story, which is really very serious, forcing me to apologize for my lack of sensitivity to the subject. Ooops! I think everyone should go read it and comment to make up for my gaffe. :)
Terry Lee
05/22/11
Very clever indeed.
Sydney Avey
05/22/11
Whew! That was quite a ride I feel like I just free associated with you around and down some questionable plumbing and got left back on top of a roller coaster ready to do the drop again far out!
Jessica Turner-Stotz
05/25/11
This free, inner-monologue was very cleverly mastered. It's exactly how our thoughts jump around, and having studied inner-monologue as a theater major in college, I can tell you this was brilliantly conceptualized. Very cool. I really enjoyed being caught up in the chaos that is the human mind! :)
Noel Mitaxa 
05/30/11
Are you ever on time; since this entry looks like it needs some punctuation. Yet it was a fun ride.
It reminded me of the alcoholic who said: "I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full-frontal lobotomy!"
I'll troy to be on the lookout for your next entry...