The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/20/11

I read and re-read this several times and I must confess I am confused by some of it. It seems an inner conflict, but in stanza four it seems to say I cannot (or will not) win, then in stanza five it seems to say reach through to win…also in stanza five, why would I blow away innocence with my two-edged sword (which is the bible?) You seem to have a lot of thought going on here, but I have to be honest and say I am not grasping fully what you are trying to say! Sorry.
As interesting as reading the widely varied takes on any challenge, is reading the divergent comments. Now this particular poem, I LIKE the intersperse of free and rhymed, and the variation in meter. Fascinating depth of imagery and word use. Great poem!
05/26/11
Now I really liked this poem in every way. I thought you did an excellent job with the imagery and conflict. A well deserved 2nd placing. Congratulations.
05/27/11
Congrats on winning 2nd place with this very interesting poetic piece. Pride is certainly a sin that has some tough consequences at times. The MC seems to be struggling with pride or hurt by someone else's--not quite sure which way that goes--but maybe the reader is supposed to be left wondering. Either way, I liked this.