The Official Writing Challenge
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10/11/05
"Faith had been healed more fully than any surgery could do." So sweet and tender, I want to cry. This is a beautiful offering.
A loving tribute to precious Faith. Thank you so much for sharing.
10/11/05
There are so many families who have lived this. Hearts, flowers, heartaches ... and for some the healing.
10/11/05
Such beauty can not be seen in words alone.. this is truly a work of such love.. Well done..
10/12/05
A fitting tribute. "We did not understand. But we had faith in The One Who Did." So often this is all we can say when faced with trials such as this. Well done.
With my second pregnancy, I was given bad news over the phone of a dark and empty waiting room, so I can relate to the matter of fact attitude of your story's doctor. It is such an emotional thing to go through, I would have like to see a little more description of their pain and what was going on in their heads. I also liked the line towards the end about being healed better than any surgery could have done.
Deeply moving and touching tribute. God bless.
10/13/05
So sad ... and yet with a strong ray of hope. My friends went through a similar situation, so I identify strongly with you, the onlooker. Your piece brought many tears to my eyes. Like you, I also wrote a piece for the parents. Even more touching was the fact that I was prompted to write it as baby Hope was being born ... or at least, her body. She'd died already.

As for constructive feedback, I'd just say to change 'who's' to 'whose'.

Blessings on you, Amy.

10/13/05
Very tender and touching. I love pieces that show Christians with realistic reactions to suffering. The only thing I would change is the headings like "Five months later..." They seem to interfere with the flow of the piece. Perhaps you could indicate the passage of time just by that extra space, or by writing transitional sentences (maybe referring to changes in weather, or some such). All in all, a fantastic piece.
10/13/05
A beautiful tribute. Faith's parents will cherish this!

I'd suggest a new paragraph at "That day was long." The transition from weeping on Aaron's shoulder to him being at work was too abrupt. Also, I like the headings (Five months later) but I'd change "One and a half" to "Six weeks".
Overall, this is a well-written, touching piece. Great job!
10/14/05
a wonderful tribute to a beautiful baby and her parents. I had to stop myself from crying to finish reading it.
10/15/05
How so very precious Amy. You did a really good job on a difficult subject. It touched my heart.
10/15/05
Thank you for sharing this article so full of anguish and great love. We do not know the Master's plan for any of our lives. We must rest in His everlasting love and guidance as we each take this journey. This is the only way we can survive this trial called "Life". I was touched by your article.
10/16/05
A stirring story that bought a lump to my throat. Thank you for entering into it and sharing it. Yeggy
10/16/05
Very emotional journey. I loved the way you began and ended it. WOuld have to agree that I might change the way you mentioned time passing..though not sure how..maybe with just with spacing as suggested earlier.
Wonderful, heartrending, hope instilling. Thank you for such beautiful writing.
Well done, Amy! Better than I could have done. J and K will love it.
10/17/05
A beautiful memorial story. Very nicely done.
Oh my..... I am experiencing a GOD MOMENT right now. Just this last Friday my husband and I attended the funeral of 10 day old Aspen Faith. She, too, had a heart condition and was not a candidate for surgery. I must print this story and give it to the family. A BEAUTIFUL STORY......... You have such a LARGE GIFT..... May JESUS enlarge your territory. Hugs, Dixie
11/16/05
I watched a couple who had awaited a baby for years go through this same journey. You captured it exquisitely .... including the hope and rejoicing they never lost (though their daughter had surgery, she didn't survive, the day after she was born.) They were in church the next day - it was something I will never forget. May God continue to keep His hand of blessing on your writing, for it touches deep where we live.