The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/11/11
First of all I love the names :) I also love how you worked in the surprise ending so well. You painted a perfect scene of 2 sister's final moments so convincingly. I was truly baffled at the finger sucking. But it is really a sweet story when it all comes together. Very nice indeed!
03/12/11
SMILE - I should have guessed, but you got me at the end. Beautiful and well done!
Talk about "out of the box", you hit a home-run on this one! Spectacularly creative in both story and ending. As for the fingers, I knew instantly at that moment the girls were inside their mother's womb. I have a twin and sucked my own fingers while sharing that cramped space with my brother. :)
Well done! Great story. I often wonder how my girls perceived the moments before their birth.
03/15/11
You really caught me off guard with this one! I went from trying to think of how I would respond when death comes to thinking how unrealistic the dialogue seemed for someone who was dying. Then, the sneak attack! Well done!
03/15/11
Awesome twist at the end! There were a few typos - the term is "collected" instead of "collective," for example, but overall, excellent.
03/16/11
Although I expected there'd be at least one childbirth story, I didn't see the end of this one coming! Loved it. Well done.
03/17/11
What a story! Who would have thought at the start of the story such an ending! The contrast of what seemed like death turned out to be just the beginning of new life. Excellent writing!
Death and birth are amazingly connected and you did it with this one. Great imagination.