Dark night of the soul,
How long … how lifetime-long?
My ashen heart shrinks as a graying cinder:
Your desert-drought o’er takes me;
Inner landscapes wilt.
Singed and blackened, I gasp soundlessly:
Stuporous minutes plod,
Representatives of transient chronology.
I flounder with a hopeless, waning will:
Ah - a flutter, a breath, a stirring deep within.
Perhaps You have not abandoned me, Lord!
My soul shuffles aimlessly, not wanting to trust:
My weak, faint spirit groans with mortal agony.
Your favor eludes me like a scurrying winter wind.
Revisit and redeem this devil-dark night:
I am made for Your hope –
May I apprehend, if not comprehend, it!
And yet I cry out in this forsaken wilderness:
Mystery shrouds Your high, regal-righteous ways.
Disclose Yourself anew; arouse and flame my heart
Until I trust Your rescue and deliverance:
You alone, Lord, create and re-create –
Your endings are not ends, but usher new beginnings.
Rekindle my shrunken heart as a burning bush, Lord:
Oh dark night – DARK NIGHT! I’ve resisted your suffering,
Disabled by misunderstanding and autonomous pride.
YOU are the Almighty’s tool for wrecking and building:
Almighty Father, my desolation must give way
To Your flickering anvil- sparks of life.
You alone can quicken and heal me:
Yet still I moan with human agony as You work,
Even as You immerse Your eternal plan within created time.
Remove my temporal scales and restore far-sightedness:
Eternity – who on earth can understand or own it?
It is not sequential, predictable, measurable,
But rather intersects with, and shatters, my smallness:
I cannot perceive Your larger-than-life realities
Any more than I can grasp You.
But I pray to embrace this era of personal tribulation:
Your providential purposes will eventually unfold.
The effects of this era of seeming hopelessness
Are no mistake, but rather have been uniquely orchestrated:
As divinity communes with earthly time,
You overshadow me until together we draw fear captive.
Suffering is not wasted, but purposeful and redefined:
Chronology is no longer a burdensome foe
But a venue for Your sustaining grace and strength.
I wait with confident expectation for the fullness of time:
I praise You, Lord of heaven and earth, Lord of life and death!
To my fellow pilgrims I say, He alone is worthy, Hallelujah!
I praise You, Lord of the dark night - Your gift is ultimate:
“In the time of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you.” Isaiah 49:8
*Kairos (a Greek word) - A segment of opportunely divine time as when eternity intersects with chronology; God's time; the right time.
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