The Official Writing Challenge
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Gerald the Giraffe was rejected because his horns got in the way of the crown - Ellie the Elephant's ears caused it to keep slipping off - Ronald Rhino couldn't stand it hindering his charging position - it restricted Hettie the Hippo's yawning and a great gasp went up because it no longer fitted Ryan the Lion's head because his mane had grown so bushy.

Loved it!
12/03/10
What a fun story...good use of this week's topic. Good, strong imagery. Well done.
12/03/10
Oh, I must say, I've always loved children's stories, you yours didn't disappoint! Great job with this one.

I'm guessing word count may have gotten the best of you, but I would have liked to have had some indication about the lioness, earlier in the story, and some more description about her. Kids like a story where they can guess what the ending is, and not mentioning the winning character until the very end may seem "unfair" to kids. Just my opinion. :)

Overall, a great story.
Cute story! Loved the "Great Arena". I could visualize the entire event as I read the tale.
This fun children's story would be such fun to tell with all the gestures used. I can see a circle of children seated on the floor in a circle completely engrossed in what will happen next.
12/04/10
A fun story with a very different take on body language. Methinks Ryan was hard done by!
12/04/10
Very engaging writing! I agree that foreshadowing Lena would have made for a more satisfying conclusion. Enjoyable tale for both kids & adults. :)
12/05/10
Good fun all the way through, and I really enjoyed how you have taken such an i(menagerie)ative approach.
12/05/10
I really like this story, especially the descriptions of the lions. You made it clear that they didn't need to show off to prove who the King is. I felt like I was reading about Jesus entering after a bunch of pretenders to the throne had strutted their stuff. :)
This is a cute charming story. I can easily picture the pictures.
12/06/10
What fun! The ending felt a little rushed, but I loved this children's story. Well done.
12/07/10
A very interesting read with an unexpected ending, where none of the contenders get the crown in the end.
Very well written and interesting. I enjoyed the descriptions of the animals and the regalness of the lions. Very symbolic. So I gather in my small mind the female lion was the Birde of Christ? At any rate, great food for thought and an enjoyable read.
12/07/10
Good story. For a children's story I thought that some of the vocabulary was challenging. It couldn't be a story that they could read and understand for themselves.
12/07/10
"Kingdom Challenge" would also be a great title for this story. :)

I like how you showed that the prideful animals had no place as king or queen. That's a great lesson for children and adults.

And after that entrance by the lion I was most surprised at the ending!

Very well done.
Congratulations for placing 15th in your level!