Hi Lisa. I'm so glad we can talk every day this week. It's been a rough one, but your daily support has helped a lot. Thank you so much.
No problem, Janet. I'm glad it worked out that I'm having a quieter week this week so I'm more available. How did it go today?
I'll admit that the stress of the work day got to me, and I was really tempted to binge and purge tonight. Instead, I did as you suggested. I sat with my feelings and wrote in my journal. I thought journaling was a waste of time until you discussed it with me. I also didn't think I would do it "right" so I'm really glad you explained that there are no rules, there is no right or wrong way to do it, but to just put my thoughts and feelings on paper. Sometimes I'm surprised at what I see on the page. There are days it's hard to look at, but other days I'm amazed that my pen reveals thoughts I didn't even realize I had until they hit the page. Today was one of those days.
Are you okay?
Yes, these are happy tears this time. As I was writing about my work situation, I realized how much it reminded me of the struggles with my sister. It's that condescending look and the matching condescending tone of voice that sets me off. I can't believe I never saw the connection before. And if I had chosen to binge and purge instead of writing in my journal, I would have missed it. Anyway, it doesn't change the situation, but when I can understand something better, it gives me hope that I can change my perception and my reactions to a situation. As you know, I've been working with my counselor on letting go of things with my sister, and I feel I'm really making progress with that. Now that I see the similarity between her and my co-worker, I feel like there's a chance that I will be able to tolerate my work situation better over time.
Janet, I am so glad to hear it. This is just the kind of revelation I have been asking God to give you. In the short time I've been mentoring you, you have given control of your recovery over to God, taken strides in letting go of hurts, gotten in touch with some of your emotions and engaged in bulimic behaviors far less than before. I couldn't be happier for you. With God in charge, you'll certainly be free of this eating disorder one day.
Lisa, my Christian counselor is great, and I couldn't have gotten this far without her. But having you as my mentor, someone who has been through eating disorder recovery herself, has given me the extra support and encouragement I've needed. Knowing you recovered gives me hope, and when you share with me what helped you, it's so helpful.
God is doing a work in you, Janet. It's a privilege for me to be a small part of that work. Is there anything else you want to talk about tonight?
No, but I'm so glad I got to share this insight with you. Can we still talk tomorrow night before we go back to our weekly discussions?
Absolutely. I look forward to it. Have a good night.
Thanks, Lisa. Bye.
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