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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Cyber Communication (email, IM’s, etc) (11/04/10)
My love focused was once an arrow flamed
Now quenched and blind by torrent tweets from you
How crude to thrust a blade from distant aim
Your weapon’s cold but accuracy true

I would have thought such dainty fingers kind
Petite so far away from scorn-like crass
To read such callused frost I froze in time
My Droid fell silent from ice bitten hands

But love can die even in castle gray
It’s penned a thousand times in life’s sonnets
I would prefer honesty face to face
Yet lips can be as sharp and deftly cut

So whether in a park or by a tweet
I still stroll lonely your abandoned street

- Sir Philippe

- Lady Penelope

I hate my sister’s tweet tore us apart
I hope my words by pen will reach your heart

Though lies have flown in guise of cyber truth
I have not moved away from castle sight
Your touch will ever spark my mem’ries mood
But love that’s true will fight for breath and life

My Torch is gone along with my broadband
Forgiveness will be hard for sister’s sake
Yet still I want for strength holding my hand
My health is frail and future dim on days

My love for you is true there is no doubt
In fevered daze I see you on my street
My mindless sis thought she was helping out
It was not I that thrust those awful tweets
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This article has been read 1229 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Marita Vandertogt
11/12/10
This reads like a Shakespearean sonnet - very nicely done. Love the ending.. classical twist. Great entry!
Gregory Kane
11/12/10
Positively delightful.
I don't know but to me the word Broadband didn't sit comfortably with either the rhythm or the tone of the poetry.
That aside, I loved the sheer imagination and romance.
Beth LaBuff 
11/13/10
Your eloquence and use of the language amazes me. Your words flow with the gracefulness of the Masters of the past, and yet I enjoyed discovering the references to modern technology in this, "tweets," "cyber," and "Droid" etc, Move over Shakespeare, there's a new "kid" on the block. :)
Verna Cole Mitchell 
11/13/10
So clever! I chuckled when I tried to read the last line aloud. You do have a way with words!
Laury Hubrich 
11/14/10
Excellent!
Caitlyn Meissner
11/15/10
I'm afraid I had to read this twice before I realized who was doing the talking. After that I really enjoyed it. I like how you modernized this sonnet. Great job!
Catrina Bradley
11/16/10
Your lovely sonnet reads well both ways. :) Nice job on the topic.
Barbara Culler 
11/17/10
Beautifully written. In my Level One opinion, I think you were very much on topic!
Loren T. Lowery
11/17/10
I love work that makes me think, and this made me think. Possibly I'm reading too much into it, however. Could there be a lesson here - regarding true love. It judges not, nor would it be judged. I think your MC (once he turns the corner of that street he's on) will discover this.
Rachel Phelps
11/17/10
Oh, this is excellent. Henry, I greatly respect your poetic talent, and you consistently provide wonderful entries for us. Well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/17/10
Wow there is so much said in these few lyrical words. Well done you are a master poet.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
11/18/10
Congratulations for placing 8th in level 4 and 12th overall!
Ada Nett
11/22/10
I really enjoy reading your work!