I have a little "inner person" living here in me
And what can be the use of her is more than I can see.
She is very, very like me from the heels up to the head
Except she won't stop chattering from morning until bed.
The funniest thing about her is the way she likes to lie.
She tells me I'm a failure and I shouldn't even try.
She whispers that I'm ugly, fat, and all my friends agree:
There's no one they'd like better to be gone than lucky me.
She hasn't got a notion, now, of what she means to say--
She tells me do the dishes, lose some weight, right now, today!
But when I start, she says to check if Bob has emailed me,
And oh my goodness, there's a slice of cake -- and a TV!
One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found my inner person finally SHUT UP.
I spent a peaceful hour till she shook herself awake
And peevishly informed me that I'd eaten too much cake.
With apologies to Mr. R. L. Stevenson.
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