The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/26/10
The title of this one caught my attention, since I recently spent several days in hospice visiting my Aunt. It's a whole new world in there!

Sharing the acceptance and experience of death with another person can be both emotionally exhausting and a glorious gift.

I liked this story and you wrote it well. The message was spot on.

In the paragraph beginning with "after a few hours" I think the name Sharon was used instead of Julie, which was a bit confusing.

But I passed that and thoroughly enjoyed this piece. :)
08/26/10
This story brought tears to my eyes - so beautiful! You did well with a difficult subject. It's masterful writing when one can show the reader the beauty in something that naturally repels us. Excellent!
08/27/10
I really like this story. Well written piece about our hospice services and how important it is for no one to die alone. Keep writing!
I absolutely love this. I was so very, very touched at Julie giving in and being what Arla needed...Sharon. What a charming, true to life story that gave me almost as much peace as Arla felt in going home! :)
Well told story with a grreat message
I go goose bums when I read this part: "Arla’s eyes opened wide; she tried to sit up and pull Julie close to her. “Sharon, I’m so glad you’re here. I want to tell you about the beautiful vision I had."

Your description put me in the hospital room. I saw Arla and Julie clearly.

Reminded me of the night I spent with my Grandmother right before she passed.

Thanks for this.
You did a wonderful job on this story. I felt as if I were in the hospice room myself!
08/30/10
I really really like this. Good job with a difficult subject. I felt like I was really there.
08/30/10
For a writer wannabe, I really used really too many times. lol Need to wake up and get into Monday. Anyway, you did a great job on this piece.
08/30/10
You did well with such a personal and deeply emotional storyline. If anything I felt that your story got off to a slow start and that you could have done with a punchier hook. Your opening set the time and place but perhaps not the mood. That said, judging by your many comments, you have obviously struck a chord with a lot of people
Trained hospice workers provide a wonderful service to families in need. And, as you have shown, there are rewards that money can't buy for those involved in this ministry.
This reminds me of when Corrie ten Boom saw her sister Betsie's body transfigured when she died. Thank you for this story.
08/31/10
Through this entire piece, I kept visualizing those last days in the hospital with my Papaw. Thanks for bringing more peace and healing!
09/01/10
Your story shows a wonderful ministry opportunity we have as Christians to comfort people up to the very end, to soothe them as they transition from this world to the next. You did a nice job with this. Except for a few run-on sentences, this one is spot on for the challenge.
09/01/10
Shann, I can imagine how hard this might have been for you to recall and share. The emotion is strong from start to finish. The best part is finishing a race with Jesus at the Finish Line.

Mona
09/01/10
Yay - finally I got to read your story! It was beautiful, Shann. My very favourite line was: "That glow is the light of heaven spilling over on her face." What wonderful, poetic language!
09/01/10
I liked the part about the light of heaven spilling onto her face too. Death may be a bitter experience, but what comes next for the believer is sweeter than anything we could ever have known before!
09/01/10
This hit so close to home for me as I sat with my mother her last weeks in hospice and was there when she passed. The hospice ministry is one blessed by God to help the dying and the family as well.
09/02/10
A moving story well written and expressed. Great piece of work!