The Official Writing Challenge
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I've got goosebumps! This is so tragically true for so many young girls but even truer is the fact that many people don't know how to touch with hugs because they never had them and thus, the circle repeats itself. This should be a must read for every father out there so I hope you work on publishing it.

I loved the ending...was it too late? I suspect not as the monitor was still beeping! Amen

Is it Tracy or Tracey? :)
Outstanding take on the topic, with a message every father needs to hear.
Talk about reaping and sowing! A sobering story, but one with a promise of hope - nice writing!
What a great story idea for the sense of touch that has both internal and external signifigance.

Forgive me because my writing mind wanders so much: I would have loved to put a mysterious janitor in there, or some third person instead of the dream, and made him a mysterious messenger to bring the mc to that moment.

But this is your piece, and you deserve credit for such a fresh take with a strong well conveyed message. You deserve credit for an expected but powerful ending.

Thanks for sharing this.
Tragic story, repeated too many times throughout the world, but one which we need to be aware of daily. The power of touch--and the time it takes to reach out--are so meaningful, not just to family members, but to all members of the human family. You told the story beautifully.
Lord, help us see as you see, and touch others in your stead.
Tragic, but happens in real life all too often. I found the paragraph with the "voice" giving the meaning a bit of unnecessary, but that's just my opinion. Great job otherwise. You really made me hurt for the father.
I loved your concept and loved the ending. I think you need to brush up a bit on punctuation rules. Along with Amy, I feel the paragraph with the "voice" explaining why his daughter ran away a little too much. You've already shown why she didn't need to tell it again. This is a great story and the moral behind it one all parents need to take to heart. Good job! :)
I agree that the realization paragraph was unnecessary. Trust your well-crafted story to guide the readers to the message without extra pointing. Great take on the topic.
I agree with a couple of comments on the "voice" as the story implies very well the same concept. I like happy endings and I hope this young girl wakes up and the relationship improves. But real life doesn't always have the endings we want and that is why stories like this one, are sobering reminders to us. Well done.
A sad story filled with so much truth! Heartbreakingly real.
A story I can totally relate to. Superb. I LOVE the ending!
Such a well written, heart-felt message. As with some of your other articles, this causes the reader to stop and think about their own relationship with their children - so valuable!
I expected a happy ending, but I think it was even more powerful the way you wrote it.
I thought this message to fathers was very important and well told.

A little technical thing: numbers like four and fifteen should be spelled out.

I agree with the others about the voice that comes to him after his dreams. You go from showing the reader the moral message of the story via the dream vignettes to telling the reader what they should do or not do via the voice. The dream sequences were enough to persuade the reader what needs to be possibly changed in his own personal life.

Good choice of past memories for the father to contemplate, ones in which many dads may relate.

So much truth in your story of how so often we neglect to show enough care to express our love to one who needs a touch. Your message in the story comes through very well. Thanks for sharing this.
Shann, this was a good story, and so relevant to the times. Congratulations on placing in both the top 30 and the Top 15 in your level. You are so great at commenting on others' entries, and deserve to have praise where it is due. Good job!
This is a powerful story. Congratulations on placing in the top 30!! Thank you, also, for your encouragement on my stories. The feedback is much appreciated!!
This is a powerful and well-told story. So relevant. I can't tell you how many friends I have who continue to struggle with the acceptance of the the absence of their father's touch.