The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow! I didn't expect that something like that would happen when I first started your story. And I didn't realize the impact of your first line until I got to the end. Great job! Thank you for a very powerful article.
06/09/10
You tried two very risky things here - first person present and the repeating first/last line. They can be incredibly impacting or fall flat. Just so you know - you did it masterfully. Loved it!
06/10/10
Really good writing of an interesting story. If you have not already written one - I hope to be reading one of your books in the future.
06/10/10
Got a tad confused between present and past at first, but then I seemed to get on track. Well-done with the manuscript's content paralleled with the reality of the situation. Good reminder as well.
I too got stuck on the past to present but I soon caught up. Well written drama: my kind of reading. Good job.
06/10/10
A very good read. Kept me spellbound reading from start to the end. You've captured the thoughts, the feelings and the much needed truth about what it means to heed warnings or face the consequences. A good lesson to all who are always in a hurry or who drive in haste!
Yes, it could happen. Indeed it happened to a young couple I worked with. Speed and bravado and two young lives snuffed out in the blink of an eye.
A very creative take on the topic, well written and very thought provoking. Good job Miss Sarah.
Sensed some difficulty in transitioning between scenes, but message came through. Your sentences at the beginning and end regarding not be a fast driver that day were powerful and added much to the story. Good job with just the right amount of emphasis.

A moving story and your message certainly comes through very strongly. Well Done!
06/14/10
There's a great message here and the stark emotion of loss comes across clearly.
I appreciate that here in FW we tend to laud showing rather than telling. But as with several other commentators, I struggled with the beginning of your story. I think it would have been more effective to state simply what was going on. At first I even thought that your MC might have been sneaking a read at the manuscript while driving along.
I hope this is in some way helpful. Bless you.