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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)

TITLE: My Dirty Secret
By Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom
02/24/10


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I need to know whatís out there
As I ponder the after-life.
Even more I need to know whatís here
As I ponder my present life.

Something happened to me.
Quite a long time ago;
Shh. Itís a secret, let it be
No one ever needs to know.

The secret made me live a lie.
Now Iím not sure where to turn.
I honestly want to give up and die.
But first there is something I must learn.

At times life scares me immensely,
Other times it scares me just enough.
If I tell, will I finally be free?
Or will it just make my life tough?

I don't like who I turned out to be.
It makes me wonder who I really am.
I question who is the real me?
Has my whole life been just a sham?

Maybe Iím not even real,
Just a figment of some imagination.
Lord, Iím getting ready to kneel
And give You my heart for examination.

Please love me anyway;
Forgive all of my darkest sins.
I need You and I want to pray
Please let the healing begin.

Now I know what happened long ago
Should never happen to any child.
It has left my heart with a giant hole.
Nastiness has turned my thoughts all wild.

I know in You, my Lord, I can trust
I will try to do what You ask
And forgive the one who was full of lust
But, Lord, itís going to be a difficult task.

If you promise to stay by my side,
I know I can accomplish all;
And I promise to no longer hide,
From now on Iíll answer your call.

Thank You for setting me free;
For always watching me from above
And for helping me become who I was meant to be-
A person who is finally capable of love.


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This article has been read 634 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Beth LaBuff 02/26/10
Heartbreaking, but still filled with hope.
AnneRene' Capp 02/28/10
So eloquently written my friend in wounded heart.

You spoke for all of us who dare not. Every word mastered the emotions within each of us, that we ourselves fumble for.

Best of all, you directed this pain right back to our Creator, so as Beth commented...so heartbeaking and yet so filled with hope, as it so should be.

Kudos for the courage, beauty, and hope of this article!
Linda Boulanger03/01/10
Truly moving and inspirational. Your writing conveys the feelings that come when one realizes the answers and healing come from turning to our Lord.
Allison Egley 03/01/10
I like this a lot!

A few flow/meter issues for me

You captured the MC's confusion well.
Catrina Bradley 03/01/10
You brought out feelings anyone can relate to - we all have our own "dirty little secret." That's why I think it would be better without the two stanzas that tell what the author's secret is. My emotions had to turn a corner. Let the reader keep relating the poetry to himself. :) A little smoothing on the meter would polish this up. Good job on the topic!
Ruth Stromquist03/01/10
The poetic form was used well to summarize and cover a tremendous span of emotions and events in a life, moving from hopelessness to salvation, plus dealing with a sensitive issue so well. I agree that the meter could be polished more, but the heart of this poem beats VERY strong, and spoke to my heart.
c clemons03/02/10
I think a little reference to the shh, could have been used in this. But overall good job.
Joan Campbell03/02/10
A deep, moving poem - so very heartfelt. What I loved the most (as I do with all your writing) is how the MC takes her pain straight to God, and finds healing and wholeness there. A wonderful job, my friend!
Sarah Elisabeth 03/02/10
Whew, this one started deep and concluded deep. I loved the way you pulled it all together in this moving poem
Pamela Kliewer03/02/10
This brought tears to my eyes... as I can relate. Well done.
Rachel Rudd03/03/10
I was a bit confused in the beginning, but I read it through a second time and I really like the last line. :) Great writing with a wonderful message.
Loren T. Lowery03/03/10
This is heartbreaking to read - and I know it must have been difficult to write. What you've expressed is truly the only answer - seeking God to lead the way out of this unbearable darkness. Healing does take time, but God's faithfulness is unfailing.
Edmond Ng 03/04/10
I can feel the emotions and the hurt within the writing. A very well written poem expressed from the heart that turns sorrow into trust in God. Great job and thanks for sharing this!