'36 year old attractive male – looking for Mrs Right. This gentleman prefers a redhead! Quirky sense of humour required to survive corny jokes. Apply Box 55.'
At the time, Sarah had been left a year. So he had decided it was right to move on. He then placed the ad in the dating column of his local weekly.
After re-reading his advert, for the umpteen time over the past few years, he replaced it in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Three dates had materialised before he had given up. None got passed the first date. They had been three disasters. He laid back, smiled, and once again relived them.
The first redhead reminded him of an elongated Sarah, she was easily six feet tall. They met up at a local dog walking park – she was an outdoor girl. Her entrance had been with two red setters streaming ahead of her, straining at their leashes. Josh and Coral had got on famously until she let the dogs loose.
After prancing around like two escaped maniacs, Red had charged from behind and pounced lion-like onto Josh's back, knocking him flat on his face. Then it began stomping around – it caused Josh to recall the time his ribs had been reached through his back by his one and only Chinese massage. He then felt his backside was being groped by a heavy breather – Queenie had joined in.
After a Big Hulk transformation Josh had leapt to his feet with such speed that he had sent the two red setters scuttling through the air like flying foxes. Then Josh's colourful swearing at the animals had sent Coral storming off, her dyed red hair flowing behind her.
Number two date had been no better. She had said her name was Scarlet and turned up furnished with a mop of streaky sandy hair. However, she was sweet and likeable. They had dined out at a posh Italian (very expensive!).
What her hair colour had lacked in red tone she made up for by wearing a flaming red dress, with shoes and handbag to match. Her shyness was almost embarrassing until Josh received a shock. He felt a soft stroking on his lower leg – he never expected a footsie session on a first date with a girl who was almost too shy to hold a conversation.
After moving his feet in an attempt to reciprocate there was an almighty, 'EEEOOOOW!' The restaurant owner's ginger tom jumped out onto Scarlet's lap, causing her to leap to her feet violently jerking the table and splattering red wine over the dress of a nearby diner. A look of terror covered her face and hysterical tears followed, before she grabbed her red bag and fled.
Then it was Jenny, who was a genuine redhead – Sarah's tone! She came on the scene looking strikingly attractive dressed in a smart black suit with red accessories to contrast the clothing yet compliment her hair tone. Josh thought he had fallen in love at first sight.
Jenny had asked if they could visit the Palace Theatre to see 'Romeo and Juliet' which was put on by the resident company's 'Red Cardinals'.
Sitting there was like watching potatoes boil - immensely boring to Josh who was an action man type: 'James Bond' stuff. He got thoroughly fed up of seeing the red bag being opened, hand mirror appearing and make-up being checked like a contented cat preening itself. After a while he started counting: six times in thirty minutes. She had glanced at him just once in that time before quickly turning away.
He rightly assumed she didn't fancy him and at the interval had said he must visit the Gents. He left and finished the evening stuffing his face with a Big Mac. A satisfying conclusion to a disastrously boring date.
Suddenly he was jolted out of his dream world – the bedroom door opened. “Darling, the bathroom's free.”
Not long after his third date Sarah had appeared back on the scene. They had been married now for seven years.
He said, “Come here Sweetheart, let me give you a kiss.”
The bare red passion began to burn from that one long kiss. He said, “Join me?”
“OK, but it must be quick.”
The bedroom door creaked again.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.