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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Red (10/01/09)

TITLE: Looking For Mrs Right
By Colin Swann


'36 year old attractive male – looking for Mrs Right. This gentleman prefers a redhead! Quirky sense of humour required to survive corny jokes. Apply Box 55.'

At the time, Sarah had been left a year. So he had decided it was right to move on. He then placed the ad in the dating column of his local weekly.

After re-reading his advert, for the umpteen time over the past few years, he replaced it in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Three dates had materialised before he had given up. None got passed the first date. They had been three disasters. He laid back, smiled, and once again relived them.

The first redhead reminded him of an elongated Sarah, she was easily six feet tall. They met up at a local dog walking park – she was an outdoor girl. Her entrance had been with two red setters streaming ahead of her, straining at their leashes. Josh and Coral had got on famously until she let the dogs loose.

After prancing around like two escaped maniacs, Red had charged from behind and pounced lion-like onto Josh's back, knocking him flat on his face. Then it began stomping around – it caused Josh to recall the time his ribs had been reached through his back by his one and only Chinese massage. He then felt his backside was being groped by a heavy breather – Queenie had joined in.

After a Big Hulk transformation Josh had leapt to his feet with such speed that he had sent the two red setters scuttling through the air like flying foxes. Then Josh's colourful swearing at the animals had sent Coral storming off, her dyed red hair flowing behind her.

Number two date had been no better. She had said her name was Scarlet and turned up furnished with a mop of streaky sandy hair. However, she was sweet and likeable. They had dined out at a posh Italian (very expensive!).

What her hair colour had lacked in red tone she made up for by wearing a flaming red dress, with shoes and handbag to match. Her shyness was almost embarrassing until Josh received a shock. He felt a soft stroking on his lower leg – he never expected a footsie session on a first date with a girl who was almost too shy to hold a conversation.

After moving his feet in an attempt to reciprocate there was an almighty, 'EEEOOOOW!' The restaurant owner's ginger tom jumped out onto Scarlet's lap, causing her to leap to her feet violently jerking the table and splattering red wine over the dress of a nearby diner. A look of terror covered her face and hysterical tears followed, before she grabbed her red bag and fled.

Then it was Jenny, who was a genuine redhead – Sarah's tone! She came on the scene looking strikingly attractive dressed in a smart black suit with red accessories to contrast the clothing yet compliment her hair tone. Josh thought he had fallen in love at first sight.

Jenny had asked if they could visit the Palace Theatre to see 'Romeo and Juliet' which was put on by the resident company's 'Red Cardinals'.

Sitting there was like watching potatoes boil - immensely boring to Josh who was an action man type: 'James Bond' stuff. He got thoroughly fed up of seeing the red bag being opened, hand mirror appearing and make-up being checked like a contented cat preening itself. After a while he started counting: six times in thirty minutes. She had glanced at him just once in that time before quickly turning away.

He rightly assumed she didn't fancy him and at the interval had said he must visit the Gents. He left and finished the evening stuffing his face with a Big Mac. A satisfying conclusion to a disastrously boring date.

Suddenly he was jolted out of his dream world – the bedroom door opened. “Darling, the bathroom's free.”

Not long after his third date Sarah had appeared back on the scene. They had been married now for seven years.

He said, “Come here Sweetheart, let me give you a kiss.”

“Just one!”

The bare red passion began to burn from that one long kiss. He said, “Join me?”

“OK, but it must be quick.”

The bedroom door creaked again.


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This article has been read 759 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 10/08/09
Lots of fun here, and I really enjoyed the British flavor--or I should say, flavour.

There were some minor issues with sentence structure--in particular, some comma splices.

LOVE the last few lines--very clever!
larry troxell 10/13/09
Even the James Bond in us is happy with one woman. Great humor!
Betty Castleberry10/13/09
This is very visual. Quite enjoyable, too. I love the last line. Made me chuckle.
Teresa Lee Rainey10/13/09
Very fun entry. Love the ending.
Virgil Youngblood 10/13/09
A delightful story.
Ruth Brown10/13/09
This little piece sparkles with humor. Good writing C.
Very enjoyable.Bless you,Ruth
Ruth Brown10/13/09
This little piece sparkles with humor. Good writing C.
Very enjoyable.Bless you,Ruth
Cherie B.10/14/09
This was a fun piece.
I did have to reread the part about the dogs (at first I thought his date jumped on his back, hehe).
I liked the bit about the third date constantly checking her hand mirror like a preening cat. Clever :)
Laury Hubrich 10/14/09
So glad true love was found! Sweet:)
Loren T. Lowery10/14/09
Fun and made an enjoyable way to spend a few minutes reading while leaving a good memory.
Brenda Shipman 10/14/09
Cute story! Reminded me of Tom Hank's attempts at re-entering the dating scene in "Sleepless in Seattle." I started to correct a few spellings until I read "Mummy" at the end and realized you might be British (i.e. materialised should be materialized.) There were a few verb/helping verb mix-ups: "had got" should be had gotten. The dog scene was a bit confusing to me, too. I had to re-read it a few times to get the names attached to the right people & dogs. Not sure you needed that much detail in the dog scene - one little exchange there would've been enough to carry the story along. I loved the ending - nice wrap-up - tight and concise. Clever idea for red!
Brenda Shipman 10/14/09
Okay, I just looked at your profile and saw you ARE from the UK. Sorry for the spelling comment. And by the way, I like the way the Brits spell words- somehow always adding a touch of class! American spelling is really so very "plain." :) And I see you like theater (or is it theatre?) - so what's with your character's aversion to Romeo & Juliet in your story? Unless, of course they have theatre productions of James Bond there in the UK! :)