The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
09/17/09
cute! I LOVE the line about come get your feathers!
Gulp, sniffle! It's been several years since our last one left the nest but I guess I hadn't gotten rid of all my tears over that yet. Nice job!
09/22/09
This is EXCELLENT! I'm a hover-er, so I could really relate to the mother, and your characterization of both players is outstanding. All show, no tell. Extremely strong entry!
09/22/09
I feel sorry for the mother and more sorry for the child. Caring is one thing but a constant checking on becomes worrisome. Writing style with the use of the emails was creative.
I think you did a great job with this very creative entry. There are many of us who go through this as parents and act like this -- I think it's natural at the beginning after raising a child for 18 years. Great job conveying the extremely difficult "letting go" phase of the empty nester. I felt it!!!
09/22/09
This was a wonderful story. I think that it's easy for just about anyone to relate to this story. Letting go can be really hard. You want your children to know that you love them, but you want to be careful to not suffocate them with your love and concern.
Very creative entry. Really thought the "better collect your feathers" was a powerful line. Well done!
09/22/09
Great work! I think you've been reading my mind (and my emails)! :) Love your creative format!
Very creative for this topic, as well as interesting and realistic. Good job.
09/25/09
I think Sandi is my long-lost twin sister...lol. I, too, am a hoverer. I very much enjoyed this story.
09/26/09
Rachel, you've just given my wife and I more of a preview of coming attractions. My wife is probably going to be much like the mother in your narration. However, it will most likely be by way of text messaging. Nice work.