The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 936 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Cold, wet, chilling winter weather is bad, but winter in the heart is much worse. I felt so much for this young man. It brought back memories of a young man I know who lost his beloved on the eve of their wedding. You have captured the sadness and the desolation of his soul. Praise God for his brother. I really liked this line, very appropriate: "Stephen, don’t let your heart stay chilled for long. The whole of you needs to find warmth in those who love you.”
08/24/09
Death of a loved one, unforseen, never prepared for. Just heartbreaking. The whole piece had such a feeling of despair. Really hard to read, but very worth it.
Mona
I loved this line "You're thawing-that's a start." The double meaning was great.
Good job.
The bear and the dad added just the right touch to this story for me and gave it good balance. Well done.
Really liked the angle you took with the topic. And your title was very fitting. Good Job!
08/25/09
I was glad to see he would let his heart thaw toward God. Your sad story offers hope!
08/25/09
Very good and interesting, I really enjoyed this story and how you managed to pack so much in to your story. .

Thanks for sharing. Colin
08/25/09
This is well done, a lot of empathy is conveyed. Finding the POV was difficult in the first half in the second half when it was finally apparent it seemed array, But, that's just my eyes. Good job.
08/26/09
Interesting story and a very vivid dramatic delivery.
~Cathy~
08/26/09
I loved the gentleness and strenght of Keith's love for Stephen. Also the way you kept to the theme in both the external and internal weathers referencing each other. Too much information dropping of back story that wasn't relevant to the story in the seventh paragraph for my liking. Really enjoyed the story though, what a long way you have come since beginners!