The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
08/06/09
Well-written. I could feel the tension and struggle. This piece kept me interested throughout.
08/11/09
Wow...a touching struggle. I ached with and for the MC. Great piece!
I forgot everything else while I was reading this one! It's very well done and I hope it places high. Kudos!
You took us inside a sad world with this one, excellently presented emotions.
08/11/09
Lots of angst, tension, anger, worry, hopelessness in this one. I'm pulling for her.

mona
08/11/09
Such raw emotion! Good descriptions("showing") although you might have overused the word "shuffle" ;) Very nice!
08/11/09
Tense and heartbreaking, I totally felt for the MC. Very well written...
08/12/09
It's so tough to grow up and be on your own. Very good piece of writing. I could feel her pain and now I'm sad:(
08/12/09
Lots of painful reality in this piece. It really brought out a lot of emotion in me. Good job!
The scene of the mother in the house was tangible and the feelings of the daughter all too real with an exposed resentment yet a hidden tenderness as well. One couldn't help but imagine there was/is more to the story as this young woman continues on her journey into adulthood, necessarily leaving some of her dreams behind - but maybe only temporarily.
08/14/09
Very good description of "growing into adulthood". So many issues out there on the fringes. More please.