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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Adolescence/Teen Years (07/16/09)

TITLE: Cell Survivor
By Tim Pickl


I was tied up and trapped in a small, dark place;
It was cold there—so freezing cold—on my face.
I heard muffled laughter through the thin wall;
It was the kind of laugh that made my skin crawl

Here I am tied up and trapped in my space
I just want to see
I wish they would just get off of my case
I just want to be free

Twisted laughter changed to two talking about me;
And suddenly the dark room I was in shook violently.
I heard the beep beep beep signal of a truck backing up;
I was whipped around, then up and down--real rough--

Then suddenly it was quiet—way too quiet—for my taste;
Still I had no choice but to wait many minutes…and wait.
At least now a small light streamed through a window;
I heard elevator music playing at a boringly slow tempo

For a multitude of minutes I waited and tried to cope;
I kept wondering if I would ever be free—but I hoped.
Suddenly someone jokingly yelled, “Let there be light!”
And my room was flooded with fluorescence so bright

A teenage boy named Diego glared at me like prey;
Then he mumbled to his friend, “This is a new one, hey?”
Justin answered back, “Yeah, it just came in last night.”
“Don’t worry little friend: it’s gonna be all right.”

Here I am tied up and trapped in my space
I just want to see
I wish they would just get off of my case
I just want to be free

“No, Diego, I don’t think this is right—” warned Justin;
“Why!? Let’s take our new friend here for a little spin!”
“WAIT!” Justin tried to stop Diego from taking me;
Then the three of us sped off with an eerie squeal

“Finally!” I thought, “Someone who cares took me away;
“Soon I’ll be free,” I pondered, and, “Soon I’ll be safe.”
Then something strange happened as Diego stopped the car;
He pulled out a wine bottle and drank from it real hard

Here I am tied up and trapped in my space
I just want to see
I wish they would just get off of my case
I just want to be free

“Let’s get this party started!” Diego boastfully yelled;
I wanted to be free, but I thought his attitude smelled.
He tossed the bottle to Justin who refused to drink it;
Amazingly Diego was only angry for about a minute

“Let’s go pick up Angel and Miranda—Justin call them NOW—”
I thought, “I will make it through this ordeal, some way, somehow.”
Gimme that phone! Hey ladies, come out and join the party.”
I couldn’t believe the girls listened to one who was so bossy

Here I am tied up and trapped in my space
I just want to see
I wish they would just get off of my case
I just want to be free

Angel and Miranda got into the car then a strange thing happened:
Diego grabbed me by the neck, “Let’s see what you got, little friend.”
It started slowly but soon he was beating me faster with his thumbs;
I looked around and the others were doing the same to my cousins!

It seemed that the teens were communicating without speaking;
It was an awkward moment as I continued to take the beating.
Then Diego spoke, “Forget it! I’m sick of texting, let’s split.”
The girls started drinking then too and they wouldn’t quit

Speeding along country roads Diego took the corners too fast;
I knew this teenage party was dangerous and it wouldn’t last.
I had to do something before it was too late for all of us;
So I sent a simple text message to everyone: SEATBELTS

Only Justin obeyed the message and snapped his seatbelt shut;
Then Diego lost control on the highway on the edge of a forest.
The car jumped up off an embankment and crashed into a tree;
And the impact killed everyone except Justin in the debris

Here I am trapped in my space again listening to the police;
“Captain, this is the worst I’ve ever seen at an accident scene.”
Then the Lieutenant turned me over in his hand with a groan;
“Miraculously, one survived, along with a fancy cell phone.”

I just wanted to see
I just wished they would just get off of my case
I just wanted to be free

But not like this.


Reference: James 4:13-15 (New International Version)

Boasting About Tomorrow

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

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Member Comments
Member Date
Seema Bagai 07/23/09
Very creative and clever. A great message, too.
John Elliott07/25/09
Clever piece. As one who has a sole survivor in a car crash, I can relate. We should do more to teach our teenagers to heed wisdom that is learned by much pain and suffering.
Allen Stark07/27/09
A very creatively written piece about something that has also been troubling me. There have been so many teen accidents in our state over the past couple of years.
Bryan Ridenour07/29/09
Creative and quite clever. Very nice bit of writing. Well done!
Carol Slider 07/29/09
A very sober message, cleverly presented. Thanks for sharing this!
Mona Purvis07/29/09
Well cell phones can do just about anything in the hands of these teens...
Interesting POV.
Sara Harricharan 07/29/09
Wow. Powerful stuff. What a sad ending, carries quite a punch.
Pamela Kliewer07/29/09
Very creative and clever. A very sobering piece. Well done.
c clemons07/30/09
Sorry, I was more than half way thru before I realized it wasn't a girl that was trapped somewhere but a thinking cell phone. I'm not terribly fond of poems that take that long to clue you in to what is happening or inanimated objects having thoughts.