The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/08/09
A good story in this poem. Thanks for sharing that Jesus is the best teacher.

Colin
06/08/09
A very good message here. The wrong voices can take us down some bitter paths 'til we find sweetness in Jesus. Good poem.
Great lesson...Jesus hasn't promised health and wealth but He has promised that He will be with us and that should be much more comforting. Nice poem!
06/10/09
I enjoy poems with short punchy lines and meter. This is easy to read and says alot.
Mona
06/10/09
I like this format for your poem. Your "salesman" and all he promised you was quite interesting (and sad). I'm glad you kept searching.
06/11/09
Impressive! I had a bit of trouble finding the rhythm at first - but I am SO not good with poetry. Overall, the message was strong and the voice was totally believable. You packed a lot into these lines.