I will never be able to express to you the despair I felt when I entered the room that day. Darkness was so thick and heavy, it made breathing difficult. Although every ounce of my being screamed, “RUN! ESCAPE…” I remained rooted to the place where I stood.
The door clicked behind me, shutting out any trace of light left from the other room. My life as I knew it was over.
I was told this would happen. Some tried to warn me, they even tried to talk me out of it. They said in this room I would see things that would humiliate and terrify me. As far as I could see, which was no where, they were wrong.
How long I stood in that room alone I could not tell you; it felt eternal. The silence was deafening. My own thoughts pounded in my ears, screaming, wailing, taunting, and mocking. When at last I decided to listen to my flesh, a light flickered on in the distance. At least I think it was distant, or it could have been just very small; what I know is it caught my attention.
From the direction of the speck of light, I heard a voice that was sweet and kind. “Come to me.”
Fear told me taking a step would be the death of me, but intrigue overruled and I took a tentative step toward the little speck. One step, two, three, Hey, there’s nothing to be afraid of … my steps became more confident and quick; that is until I looked down and could see that I was wearing a wedding dress.
I stopped, ran my hands gently across the exquisite fabric of the dress. Where did this come from? I came in here in jeans and t-shirt… my mind could not find an explanation.
“Come to me.” The voice beyond the light beckoned, reclaiming my attention.
Turning my focus back on the light, I began to move forward again. As I moved, the light grew larger until it was so bright I could not look at it any longer. My hand shot up and I bowed my head to shade my eyes. As I did so, I noticed a black spot on my beautiful white dress. I felt around in the darkness for something to scrub out the offense, but was unable to get hold of anything adequate. My heart began to splinter and I wept bitter tears.
“What is the trouble?” Oh, the voice was so gentle.
“There’s this spot. It became apparent as I drew closer to Your light. How can I come with my dress soiled?”
“Before you, you will find lamb’s wool soaked in blood. That will cleanse the stain.”
It had not been there before, but I was not about to question Him, so I looked toward the light again. Just as He said, there was lamb’s wool, soaked in blood.
I washed with the blood and the stain was removed. Who’d a thought blood would remove a black soil stain?
“Carry that with you always,” it was a gentle warning.
My trek toward the light source began once again. I began to hum favorite childhood songs like, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…” It was not long though, before I saw another stain; this one was larger than the other one. But upon His instruction, I applied the blood and the stain dissolved.
This process continued. The stain getting larger in appearance the closer I came to the light; but each time the blood removed the stain.
I was now feeling the warmth of the light, and I looked around me to find that light encompassed me about dispelling the darkness I had once been in. My soul rejoiced as I stood confident before my Bridegroom.
It was then I heard Him say, “Well done My good and faithful servant.”
So often, as we draw closer to our Lord, we see our utter wretchedness in the light of His holiness. But thanks be to the LORD our God; as we allow the blood of the Lamb to cover us, it is the righteousness of Christ our Father sees, and not our filthy rags.
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