The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/15/09
Think I missed something here, I wasn't drawn in or cared about this couple. Overall writing was good though.
01/15/09
I'm not sure I'd want to spend my honeymoon in a car driving through the Midwest! But I really enjoyed the dialogue between this couple.
01/19/09
I found this a bit disjointed, but overall I liked it. Our plans so often don't work out as we expected. The little irritations (toll booths etc) are ubiquitous. The challenge is to come through it all without becoming bitter towards the ones we love. I worried that the problems on the honeymoon would wreck the start of their married lives, but that didn't happen, and I shared their joy in the home coming.
The dialogue between this new couple was so familiar, like they had been together for some time. I enjoyed that. I did wonder how they would be able to handle a long car trip for their honeymoon and was glad for them when they made it home.
01/21/09
I like how we get to see a slice of different moods and interactions.

Tired.
Frustrated.
Content in the scenic moment.
Home.

One thing I would suggest is use details to enhance the story, and not just as a filler.

ex. *Cherry red* seems -just there- to me. :) and out of place. If you really do want to describe the truck, consider the mood you are trying to convey.

So maybe a better description would be old, or beat up or ......... :)

Just my opinion.

You did a great job in a short time!