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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The USA (01/08/09)

TITLE: Honeymoon
By Karlene Jacobsen
01/15/09


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Gwen and Frank drove their cherry-red Chevy into the parking lot of a truck stop, decidedly tired and ready for an endless cup of coffee. The sign read “24 hours” so they knew they would not be rushed from their seats.

“I can’t believe we’ve been driving twelve hours and haven’t seen anything yet.” Gwen ran long thin fingers through her unruly blond curls.

“I told you the plains of the Midwest weren’t all that exciting; unless of course you are into cornfields and soybeans.” Frank picked up his spoon to stir cream and a bit of sugar into his coffee.

“Yeah, I know.” She heaved an over-tired sigh. “Do you think this little town might have a motel lurking in a cornstalk? I’d love to lie in a nice comfy bed and close my eyes without dreaming that I’m a balloon.”

“We’ll ask the waitress when she comes over.”

********************

“Where’s the map? Can you see the turn off?” Frank’s frustration was growing by the second as cars sped by him much faster than the toll road’s allowed 45 mph. Stopping every thirty minutes to pay a toll was taking a toll on his patience, and worse yet, he thought they were lost. “Why can’t they allow you to take a nice little back road through Illinois?”

“Maybe they don’t want you getting lost.” Gwen’s simple reply served only to fuel Frank’s irritation. “I can’t find the exit on the map anywhere…” she began. “Oh, Frank, look… the airport!”

“The airport…? We’re not supposed to be by the airport!” He drove until the next toll stop and parked.

***********************

“Isn’t it just breathtaking here?” Gwen gazed in amazement as the sun set over Lake Superior. The Keweenaw Peninsula was a little detour in their trip, but well worth it. “It never ceases to amaze me the diversity in beauty we see all around.”

Frank wrapped an arm around Gwen’s slender shoulder. “I know.” He whispered as they stood awed by the beauty of creation.

**************************

The newly wed couple unpacked their car, laughing and teasing. “I can’t believe we’re already home.” Gwen commented as they brought in their last bag. “We plan and save and worry and plot our course, and then it’s over in a flash.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. However, we’ll have eternity to explore and enjoy God’s creation.” He pulled her into his arms, "Welcome home Mrs. Jones."

"Welcome home, Mr. Jones." She smiled up at him. "Thank you for our honeymoon."


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This article has been read 767 times
Member Comments
Member Date
c clemons01/15/09
Think I missed something here, I wasn't drawn in or cared about this couple. Overall writing was good though.
Jan Ackerson 01/15/09
I'm not sure I'd want to spend my honeymoon in a car driving through the Midwest! But I really enjoyed the dialogue between this couple.
Sharon Kane01/19/09
I found this a bit disjointed, but overall I liked it. Our plans so often don't work out as we expected. The little irritations (toll booths etc) are ubiquitous. The challenge is to come through it all without becoming bitter towards the ones we love. I worried that the problems on the honeymoon would wreck the start of their married lives, but that didn't happen, and I shared their joy in the home coming.
Teresa Lee Rainey01/20/09
The dialogue between this new couple was so familiar, like they had been together for some time. I enjoyed that. I did wonder how they would be able to handle a long car trip for their honeymoon and was glad for them when they made it home.
Eliza Evans 01/21/09
I like how we get to see a slice of different moods and interactions.

Tired.
Frustrated.
Content in the scenic moment.
Home.

One thing I would suggest is use details to enhance the story, and not just as a filler.

ex. *Cherry red* seems -just there- to me. :) and out of place. If you really do want to describe the truck, consider the mood you are trying to convey.

So maybe a better description would be old, or beat up or ......... :)

Just my opinion.

You did a great job in a short time!