The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/22/08
Stories like this are quite familiar, yet you've given it a nice twist with the vision to remember the homeless at the end.
08/26/08
Good story. I like the part of wanting to throw the Mayor out. Good descriptions. Nicely done.
08/26/08
Just the right touch of humor. Even though the topic is charades, I didn't see the ending coming. Engaging details/good message.
Great message and I liked the twist of removing the Mayor.
08/27/08
*smile* I anticipated that it was part of the pastor's sermon. What a great object lesson. I'm afraid many of us would feel like the mayor. Well done.
In your interesting story I especially liked the twist of removing the mayor. I wondered if he went peacefully.
08/27/08
I had to cheer when the Pastor said, "Please remove the Mayor." :) Creative use of a name, "Prosperous Prayer Fellowship." Great symbolism with clapping and cheering for the mayor and police chief.
08/27/08
Oh yes! This was wonderful. I loved the back-and-forth inserts of the Pastor's speaking and the reading from the scriptures, and especially the part where the Mayor was removed...I could SO relate to this. My dad was a great one for picking up "bums" and drunks and bringing them home for a meal, bath, sleep-over--and a whole lot of preaching. He also would take some of us kids with him on a Saturday night to a street meeting. In front would be the drunks, always listening, always interrupting, always saying: "Amen! Brother!"...Your story brought back precious memories of my dad...That's Christianity!!! Helen
08/27/08
Nicely done! I loved the ejection of the Mayor! Blessings, Cheri
08/27/08
Preach on, Pastor Steve! What an incredible message tucked into an entertaining and clever story. Well done!
I suspected too, that the homeless man was an act - well done! I loved the twist of removing the mayor.
Cool story. I was definitely caught in this tale. Well done.