The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/12/08
My heart went out to Cleo because her family seemed to leave her out because she was hearing impaired. Toward the middle I wondered why you didn't use more dialog, then it made perfect sense once I realized she was handicapped. I like that she wrote a poem/verse for her brother. Nice writing with this.
This one ranks up in the top of the list for me this week. I really liked this and thought you did a great job giving Cleo a voice. Great writing my friend.
06/16/08
This was wonderful...I loved it (sniff, sniff). Well done!
06/16/08
So poignant and sad!

I'm very curious what her disability is, since she's not deaf---why can't she talk? Since whatever is affecting her is probably an unusual or rare condition, I'd love to know what it is.

I love the relationship between the sister and older brother...wery well-written.
This is an extraordinarily good piece. Maybe a Kleenex advisory would have been good for the reader? **smile** Nice job!!
06/16/08
You had me wondering the whole time what was up with the sister--should have figured something out from the title clue. I could really feel the special bond of love between Ken and Cleo.
06/17/08
Great characters and mood setting! I was also wondering what the trouble with the sister and why all of the family was treating her "differently". Very sympathetic and touching character!
06/17/08
Great Job -Silent sister though!!!!
Great take on topic and I love your MC and her brother who is the most natural person in her family. Great message too.
What an awesome story. I have tears in my eyes and heart. Truly beautiful.
Blessings,
Norms
06/17/08
Wonderful character development and interior monologue. I could feel her struggle and frustration so clearly :)
Great job with the emotions and descriptions. I particularly liked Waves of laughter floated up the stairs, in tandem with the changing numbers of my bedside clock. I felt so sorry for Cleo, but I'm glad she has a nice brother like Ken. Well done Sara :- )
You paint a beautiful picture of the relationship between Cleo and Ken, as well as the starkly sad interactions with the rest of the family. You hint at so much history that there could probably be several stories from this one--whether the therapy was psychological or physical--what brought about Cleo's silence--why Ken is the only one who has accepted her...
Awww, this was sad, but how awesome to have a big brother that noticed, loved and accepted. Great story.
06/18/08
You had me in suspense all the way through wondering what was wrong with this sister. How sad for her! But how wonderful that she has a brother like Ken. Great writing, and a great story.
I was holding back tears at the end. Beautiful story! I really like how you fleshed out Cleo's thoughts and feelings towards her brother, and I was so happy that Ken paid her a visit before she fell asleep. This is one of my favorites this week.
First place and an EC! You are so deserving of it this week. Congratulations! :)
06/19/08
Congratulations Sara! Outstanding work!!!
06/19/08
Congratulations, Sweet Sister!!!! So glad this one did not remain silent. Soooooooooooooooooo happy for you, I'm doing flips (In my heart and mind anyway).
Congratulations Sara, 1st Place and an EC. Well done! :- )
I knew this was a winner when I read it. Congratulations!
Sara, thank you for the touching look into the silent world of this MC. Now I'm in tears and have to get back to my job. :-) Congratulations on the WELL deserved win and EC!
06/19/08
Very beautiful! Congratulations, and I agree that it deserves both awards.

06/19/08
Yay!!! Super congrats sweet Sawa!!
06/19/08
Beautiful story. I love the all the emotions--hurt and lonliness and finally, love. Great story and congratulations on the win!
06/21/08
Excellent writing and vivid descriptions. Congrats!
Congratulations for your win for this wonderful story. I'm so proud of you!
06/22/08
Congrats on placing with this moving story. I felt so sorry for the girl, not knowing why she was different, and then the ending fitted all the pieces of the puzzle together.
06/24/08
Congratulations for being first place in your level and the EC, too!

We, newbies, can learn a lot from you. You're not only a great writer. You're so generous, encouraging and helpful in your comments. In time, we, newbies,will be better writers just like you!

I'm one of your fans and I enjoy your stories and learn something insightful in each of them. Thanks for modeling well.
06/25/08
Amazing! I loved it!