Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Home (05/29/08)

TITLE: Lost in Space
By Marlene Bonney
06/01/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“Emily, you come back here and finish your house chores first!”

But I was down the driveway and on the well-worn path before the screen door slammed, the empty pail banging against my leg. I could taste the sun-kissed strawberries before I ever reached the patch. Mama would be so proud of my pickings she might forget about the dusting, I reasoned with my conscience. White baby butterflies skimmed across the edge of my vision as I bent over double to taste another juicy berry. I closed my eyes, savoring the succulent flavor.

Two hours later, I was helping Mama stem and wash the bounty for preserves and whatnot in our spacious farmhouse kitchen. Baby Ben sat in the high chair Papa had fashioned from one of our felled trees, pounding on the tray with a spoon. Denny and Abbie were at school and Lem was helping Pa out in the Back Forty.

It was Friday, and tonight the whole family would sit by the hearth, eating fresh strawberry pie and listening to Amos and Andy on the radio.


“OH, IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY,” I EXCLAIMED AS I AWOKE.


I arise and walk through the bedrooms one by one carefully, my injured ankle slowing me down.

“I must have sprained my ankle out on the pond yesterday when I was ice skating,” I murmur as I continue my search for the attic. It is my favorite place to read and daydream and play dress-up from the trunks of antiquated mothball ridden clothing stored there.


“EMILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM? THOSE CLOTHES ARE ALL DIRTY. COME ON OUT, NOW, AND JOIN THE OTHERS—WE'RE PLAYING BINGO TODAY, REMEMBER?”


I sit down on the hearth and put the buttons on the correct spaces as Denny calls out the numbers.

“No fair, Abby! Ma, she’s cheating again!” I accuse, disgruntled.

“Bin-go! I win!” shouts Denny triumphantly, brandishing his spilled card over his head.”

Disappointed, I hang my head and begin to cry.


“WHY, EMILY, IT'S OKAY. DON'T FRET. YOU'LL WIN ANOTHER TIME.”


But I turned my back and walked away, shoulders sagging, still trying to find the attic.


LATER,

“HI, GRANDMA! HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?"

“I'M JUST FINE, HONEY. HOW WAS COLLEGE?”

RELIEVED, BETHANY SAT ON THE EDGE OF HER GRANDMOTHER'S BED, AND TALKED ABOUT HER CLASSES, HER FRIENDS, AND A PARTY SHE HAD ATTENDED THE NIGHT BEFORE.

“DID YOU WATER YOUR FLOWERS YET, GRANDMA? I BROUGHT YOU A PRETTY PITCHER TO USE.”


“Oh, thank you, Abby. That’s so nice! Say, let’s go the attic and play!”

I rise and take Abby’s hand as we stroll down the hall. I know that, together, we will find our playroom.


“I'M BETHANY, GRANDMA. BEN'S DAUGHTER. REMEMBER?”

“WHY, SURE, CHILD, I REMEMBER. HOW NICE OF YOU TO VISIT! LET'S GO OUT ON THE VERANDA WHERE IT'S COOL.”

AND, THEY PASSED A PLEASANT AFTERNOON TOGETHER, BETHANY AND HER GRANDMA EM.


LATER ON,


I smell the sauerkraut and sausage permeating our house and my mouth waters. I go looking for the kitchen to help Mama with supper.


“EMILY, THE DINING ROOM IS THAT WAY,” SHE POINTED IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.


“But I want to help, Mama,” I insist.


“SNAP OUT OF IT DEAR, I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER! GO ALONG NOW. IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR YOUR DINNER."

DISAPPOINTED, EMILY TURNED AROUND, LITERALLY RUNNING INTO HER BEST FRIEND, AMANDA.

“OH, THERE YOU ARE, EMMIE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU! LET'S GO EAT!”


THAT EVENING,


“HELLO, SWEETHEART. HERE--I BROUGHT YOU SOME DAISIES TO PUT IN THE WINDOW,” THE OLD GENTLEMAN PATTED HER FOLDED HANDS AND GAVE HER A PECK ON THE CHEEK.

Straightening up from her dozing position, she stared confusedly at the stranger.

“Do I know you, sir? Do you want my father? He’s back in the parlor with Mother. I can take you to him if you like."


JOHN, EMILY'S HUSBAND OF FIFTY YEARS, SMILED GENTLY AT THE WIFE OF HIS YOUTH, AND WILLINGLY ACCEPTED HER HAND TO GO FIND THE PARLOR THAT WASN'T THERE. THEY WANDERED THE HALLS OF HER PRESENT HOME TOGETHER, SEARCHING EACH ROOM, ONE IN HOPE THAT IT WOULD BE THERE, AND THE OTHER IN HOPE THAT SHE WOULD COME BACK FROM HER CHILDHOOD HOME TO HIM.

SHE RARELY DID THAT ANYMORE, BUT WHEN IT HAPPENED, A LIGHT WOULD SWITCH ON BEHIND HER EYES AND SHE WAS ONCE AGAIN HIS EMERALD, THE JEWEL OF HIS LIFE, AND THAT REWARD WAS WORTH IT ALL.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 450 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Chely Roach06/05/08
I had to read this twice, especially to grasp the reason for the all caps...Wow, very creatively done. Great job!
BOB BLACKMAN06/05/08
You did a fantastic job of capturing and sharing the confusion of alzheimers. Excellent writing!
Marilyn Schnepp 06/06/08
A bit confusing but worth the effort to untangle the clutter...as it was so touching and now I understood the "looking for the attic" phase. Truly a creative piece, and the Title tells it all. Nicely done!
Beth LaBuff 06/06/08
You've got all the right terminology in this, "Back Forty," "pickings." I get your title after I finished reading this. Your ending is sweet for this special story of love and commitment.
Jan Ackerson 06/07/08
I enjoyed the general nostalgic tone of this, and the twist at the ending.

I was a bit confused by some switches in tense, and by the use of all caps.

This makes me want some wonderful, fresh-picked strawberries.