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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)
I was pecking away at my computer, trying desperately to get an assignment finished before deadline, when I noticed my cat, Tyrone, crouched in the back yard. His tail was twitching, and I could see that he was hunting.

I had let him out earlier, and was keeping a casual eye on him as I worked. Distracted now and curious, I got up from my desk slowly, trying not to disturb the tableau unfolding outside. Moving to the window, I looked to see what he was after, and spotted a squirrel, foraging about some fifteen feet away from the base of our big maple tree.

Tyrone had it in his sights.

I wondered how long it would take for the prey to notice the predator.

With practiced grace, Tyrone crept forward a step, one black paw carefully going in front of the other. When the target didn't seem to notice, he took another, steadily closing the gap until he could make the fateful lunge. His head never wavered.

The squirrel sat up as if sensing something. Tyrone froze, moving only the very tip of his tail, which was hidden from the squirrel by his body. When the squirrel returned to its nosing around, the stealthy advance resumed.

Suddenly Tyrone drew his paws in, coiling, ready to spring. The squirrel looked up again, then went perfectly still except for his tail, which he flicked nervously. The two of them eyed each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. A robin flew above them and landed on an overhanging tree branch, but they ignored it.

I held my breath.

In the blink of an eye Tyrone pounced, but the squirrel was just able to dodge and rocket up the tree to safety. Tyrone hung on for a moment to the trunk where he had ended up, his tail still going. Then, accepting the obvious, he dropped to the ground, his lost prey jeering at him from well out of reach.

Not being sure whether to cheer for the squirrel or feel bad for my cat, I sat back down in front of my computer screen and examined what I had written. I was getting close. Would I be able to catch the prey I was hunting?
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Marilyn Schnepp 
05/22/08
Excellent job of writing; however, I click Off the TV as the cheetah springs to kill a fawn, or an aligator brings down a zebra in the water, with horror that the camera person doesn't try to intervene. But I'm informed they don't intervene because they're portraying "Life In The Wild" as it truly is. But I continued reading this story, because I believed in my heart the writer would warn the squirrel in time...as this was pure entertainment, not food for the pet. I wanted to read how the "clap of hands" or "hollering" spared a life. (But this is just my personal opinion). But as I stated in the beginning...nicely written. Well done.
terri tiffany
05/23/08
Great work--loved the description of the hunt.
Joanne Sher 
05/23/08
Clever - great descriptions, and I LOVE the comparison to writing. I can so relate!